When the Temperature Gets Turned Up

I’m lonely tonight. The people I stay with are out of town for the weekend, so the house is empty except for the two dogs and I.

I’m sick tonight. Started feeling strange last night around 6pm. Was so weak and dizzy that I felt nauseated. Slept for 12 hours straight, and woke up feeling weak, as if I’d been fasting for a couple days, but definitely felt better than the night before. By 6pm tonight I could barely put one foot in front of the other to take the dogs for their walk. A sore throat started coming on. I can tell I have a fever now.

I’m hopeful tonight. I am supposed to preach for the Spanish congregation tomorrow. And a lady I met here in the community invited me to her housewarming party in the afternoon. Sunday we have a craft night at the church planned. I’m supposed to pick up two of my friends from the community, and another one is coming by special bus in her wheelchair. I am supposed to be bringing all the snacks. Certainly God knows all this and will work something out if I’m too sick to do these things for Him. I’m hoping that the flu will hold off long enough for me to make it through the weekend.

I’m exhausted tonight. The last month or so has been extremely busy. My job here in Topeka ends Dec 20th. There are always so many loose ends to tie up. Have been trying to find people to take over the Bible studies I am having with people. I take someone and introduce them to my “student” and they inform me later that they will not be able to study with the student after all... And so I take someone else, and start the process all over again. When I’m not preparing for or giving a Bible study, I am doing some kind of footwork for an event the church will be holding. And then there are cover-letters to write for resumes to send to try to find a job for next year. And the company who changed my car’s struts did something wrong and this will be the second time I have to take it back for “fixing.” And the phone rings on and on...

I’m thankful tonight. In spite of the economy and the insensitivity of this generation, I am working in Topeka, Kansas by the generosity of donations from people who believe that there is value in helping the community and sharing the Word of God with others. I could be in any number of situations at this stage in my life. But God has so arranged that I am able to travel around and tell my story of how He has rescued me and how He is changing me from a proud, self-centered, introverted brat into someone who is being drawn out of herself, hurt by the needs of others, and humbled by my inability to help. I’ve learned so much in the last seven years I have been traveling. My 1996 “Little Red Chariot” is still running soundly at 190,000 miles (and I put 100,000 of them on myself in the last 5 years)! My former boss sent my resume to a prestigious church which is considering hiring me. Though I don’t have a degree, they think the last seven years of experience have qualified me for such a position. And I shouldn’t complain about all the phone calls I deal with; I used to be so shy that I was afraid to make phone calls, or even answer the phone!

I’m too blessed to be depressed or stressed. And too sick and tired to realize it.

Thankfully, God understands!