Love is wonderful, exciting, needed, and all that... but I also find it embarrassing.
Here are three ways that I have found love to be embarrassing:
- Love can be embarrassing when someone loves you -- We were both in first grade. Toby came in the middle of the school year. Raised by his Grandma, rough family situation. I felt sorry for him and “mothered” him until... he kept singing this song to me from the Tender Bits dog food commercial, “Love me tender; love me true...” Then one day at recess, as Toby ran past me singing his usual song, he kissed me on the cheek. I was SO embarrassed! Other kids teased, “Toni and Toby sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G” Now I wasn’t sure I even wanted to be associated with him. After all, he was a little different... I couldn’t make him stop singing that song. And kissing?! I didn’t want THAT to happen again! So I ignored him for the rest of the school year and called “teacher!” whenever he came near me. When people love you, it can be embarrassing!
- Love can also be embarrassing when you love someone -- One of my Bible work partners seemed to be “the one.” He was home-schooled like me, raised in the country like me, loves nature like me, has a lot of the same hobbies as me, wants to spend the rest of his life in ministry like me... the only problem was I didn’t know for sure if he “liked me” like me. After working together for two years, I was called to work in another place. I missed him so much! And I couldn’t take the mental torture of wondering what he thought of me any longer. So in an e-mail I blurted out exactly how I felt about him and practically asked him to marry me! He was shocked (I guess I was as quiet about my feelings in those two years together as I thought he was being). He wrote a very kind but very firm e-mail back saying “I love you like my own sister, Toni; but that’s all.” I felt disappointed, rejected, and heartbroken of course. But most of all I was embarrassed. What must he be thinking of me now?! When I saw him a year later at a youth convention I could barely bring myself to look him in the eye! I had made myself SO vulnerable by telling him all my inmost thoughts and feelings. When you love people, it can be embarrassing!
- Love can also be embarrassing when you see one person loving another -- The most embarrassing kind of love I have ever seen is found in the Bible. Turn to Exodus 32:31,32
Ex. 32:30 And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moses said unto the people, Ye have sinned a great sin: and now I will go up unto the LORD; peradventure I shall make an atonement for your sin.
Ex. 32:31 And Moses returned unto the LORD, and said, Oh, this people have sinned a great sin, and have made them gods of gold.
Ex. 32:32 Yet now, if thou wilt forgive their sin--; and if not, blot me, I pray thee, out of thy book which thou hast written.
Moses had such a love for the rebellious, wicked, ungrateful, complaining, idolatrous, worthless, murderous people of Israel, that Moses told God he would rather lose his eternal salvation than have these people destroyed. Honestly now, do you love anyone that much? Eternal life with God? Do you love the people in your hometown area that much? “Well,” you say, “God didn’t accept Moses’ offer. No one can give up their eternal salvation to buy salvation for others. Only Jesus can do that!” True, and that is basically what God told Moses. But the fact is that Moses did love the people that much! He was just a human like you and I. Yet he, the Moses who spoke with God face to face and knew what he would be missing out on if he had his name blotted out of the book, the Moses who well knew the wickedness of the people - yet, he loved them so much! And that is embarrassing to me because I don’t love my neighbors, or anyone, that much.
Why don’t we love people more? The first two examples show a lot of the reasons:
Toby:
we are afraid to be associated with those who are a little different in any way
we cannot control what others do and fear that we’ll be hurt or taken advantage of
we care more about what some people think, than we do about the other people
we don’t want to lose anything - our reputation, status, career, comfort, personal time
Bible-work partner:
we are afraid of rejection - don’t want to be disappointed, heart-broken, hurt
we don’t want to become vulnerable, don’t want to let people into our private life
How can we get past our embarrassment and learn to love people like Moses did?
1) Studying Moses’ life we see that first of all he had made a decision to be a shepherd rather than a sheep-eater. (and this has nothing to do with being vegetarian by the way : )
Hebrews 11:24-26
Heb. 11:24 By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter;
Heb. 11:25 Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season;
Heb. 11:26 Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompense of the reward.
Moses could have been next in line to be pharaoh. He could have used those Israelite people to build his pyramid someday! He could have had the wealth and prestige that would come from these Hebrew slaves. But instead, he chose to identify himself with his brothers and sisters and sought to care for them rather than use them.
Ezekiel 34:1-10 God has strong words for those who live their lives benefitting from the people of their community rather than taking care of them:
Ezek. 34:1 And the word of the LORD came unto me, saying,
Ezek. 34:2 Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD unto the shepherds; Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves! should not the shepherds feed the flocks?
Ezek. 34:3 Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool, ye kill them that are fed: but ye feed not the flock.
Ezek. 34:4 The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them.
Ezek. 34:5 And they were scattered, because there is no shepherd: and they became meat to all the beasts of the field, when they were scattered.
Ezek. 34:6 My sheep wandered through all the mountains, and upon every high hill: yea, my flock was scattered upon all the face of the earth, and none did search or seek after them.
Ezek. 34:7 Therefore, ye shepherds, hear the word of the LORD;
Ezek. 34:8 As I live, saith the Lord GOD, surely because my flock became a prey, and my flock became meat to every beast of the field, because there was no shepherd, neither did my shepherds search for my flock, but the shepherds fed themselves, and fed not my flock;
Ezek. 34:9 Therefore, O ye shepherds, hear the word of the LORD;
Ezek. 34:10 Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I am against the shepherds; and I will require my flock at their hand, and cause them to cease from feeding the flock; neither shall the shepherds feed themselves any more; for I will deliver my flock from their mouth, that they may not be meat for them.
The first time I read this it made me so angry at those unfaithful shepherds of Israel back then. It’s disgusting to picture a shepherd kicking back under his sheepskin coat eating mutton and not caring that some of the sheep are wandering off or getting picked off by wolves... only paying attention to them when he gets hungry, and then ruthlessly grabbing some sweet little lamb for his supper. Would you keep such a shepherd? God said He won’t either!
Then I realized the implications of this parable. We are the shepherds of God’s people. What did Jesus ask Peter to do? “Feed my sheep.” And who were those people that Peter was asked to feed/shepherd? His family? His fellow believing disciples - “church members”? The unbelieving Jews of his nation? yes all those, and more! He was also supposed to feed the Gentiles (remember Cornelius? and the vision of the sheet with all the animals?). Peter was asked to shepherd everyone he came in contact with.
This parable of the sheep-eaters applies to me too. I use the people in my community. I use them as bank tellers, tax preparers, grocery store clerks, firemen, waitresses and cooks, linemen for the power poles, hospital staff, gas station attendants, postal carriers, hired hands for the farm, lumberyard help, school teachers for my kids, grain bin operators, propane fuel deliverers, senior center operators, county road-maintenance crews, hairdressers, librarians, cable TV repairmen... we depend on a lot of people! We use them for comfort, and security, and help, and to get our wealth... but do I care for them? Especially for their eternal salvation? Am I shepherding them? Do I love them like Moses loved the people?
#1 Moses made up his mind to care for the people as a shepherd, rather than use them.
2) What else did Moses do that can teach us how to love people like he did? He saw the people’s needs, went out to see their situation
Exodus 2:11 And it came to pass in those days, when Moses was grown, that he went out unto his brethren, and looked on their burdens: and he spied an Egyptian smiting an Hebrew, one of his brethren.
His love for these people grew when he saw their condition. When he got close enough to them to see what their life was like, he had compassion for them. He got to know their burdens, their life situation, their pain...
This is a huge help in learning to love people! When I visit people in their homes and get to know their background, and the struggles they deal with, the heartaches they have been through, the situations they are in... every time, I walk away with a desire in my heart to care for them. I find out that the meanest people have pain in their life just like mine. The richest people have heart needs just like me. The independent, have-it-all-together type people deal with heavy burdens just like me. We are the same. They need the same love and care that I need. I get cared for by God. But do they know that kind of love? How will they ever believe it truly exists unless I show it to them?
#2 Moses went to the people to see their needs.
3) The very next verse in Exodus 2 brings out another point.
Exodus 2:12 And he looked this way and that way, and when he saw that there was no man, he slew the Egyptian, and hid him in the sand.
Moses could relate to their need of God’s love and forgiveness!
How could Moses love such a mob of ignorant, messing-up, disobedient people? He knew how easy it is to mess up! He could plead for God to forgive the people with confidence, because he knew first-hand how forgiving God is!
Oh, how I need to learn this lesson! If only I would remember just how much God has forgiven me, it would be so much easier to love others! I would know just how to care for them if I would think about how God cares for me.
When I remember my own desires for attention and the ways I have tried to make myself look beautiful, I can look at the cashier with all the rings in her nose and have a love in my heart for her.
When I remember the times that I have been angry at God and not understanding His ways, I can love the man who is swearing a blue streak and scoffing the idea of God.
When I think of the times I have sat in a comfy chair reading a book when I should have been helping my family with the yard work, I can love the lazy person who is slopping through their work and not taking care of their family like they should be.
When I remember the pleasures I have had doing wrong things, I can love the people who blow me off because they are perfectly happy in their wicked ways. I know from experience that one day their ways will lead to misery and they will need love as much as I do. So I can love them even now when they are so rebellious.
#3 It’s so much easier to love people when we remember our shortcomings and how God has forgiven us and cared for us!
4) The final point is found a few chapters later in Exodus 33 (where we started)
Ex. 33:12 And Moses said unto the LORD, See, thou sayest unto me, Bring up this people: and thou hast not let me know whom thou wilt send with me. Yet thou hast said, I know thee by name, and thou hast also found grace in my sight.
Ex. 33:13 Now therefore, I pray thee, if I have found grace in thy sight, shew me now thy way, that I may know thee, that I may find grace in thy sight: and consider that this nation is thy people.
Ex. 33:14 And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest.
Ex. 33:15 And he said unto him, If thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence.
Ex. 33:16 For wherein shall it be known here that I and thy people have found grace in thy sight? is it not in that thou goest with us? so shall we be separated, I and thy people, from all the people that are upon the face of the earth.
Sometimes the burden of caring for people gets so great... we love people until we are dry, used up, empty... we feel like we just can’t love people anymore! Moses realized that the only way he could continue to love and care for these people is if God Himself was with him.
This point I can speak to from lots of experience! It’s seems like I have spent more time running on empty than I have spent loving people! If you 1) make a decision to be a shepherd rather than a sheep-eater you have just made yourself an on-call, 24/7, love giver. If you 2) go out to see the people’s needs and get involved in their lives in order to help them, the pain and heartache that you encounter can crush you. Even 3) remembering your own sins and needs in order to relate to other people’s lives brings up the fact that you need love yourself! And there aren’t too many love givers out there who care enough about you to check and see if you need a turn at “feeding.”
But there is a God in Heaven who has promised to be WITH US. He never runs out of love, for He is the source of all love! He will always care for us - 24/7 and for eternity. He is the great Burden Bearer that we can dump all the pain and heartache on. He took the whole crushing load at once, and it did kill Him. But it could not keep Him down! He rose again! He is well aware of the fact that we need love ourselves. He is always “there for us”! It’s the only way we can “be there” for others. We need Him with us.
Are you also sometimes embarrassed by love? When you see the love that Moses had for the people does it embarrass you? Just what is the condition of the sheep in our communities? From what I have seen, they being picked off by wolves who have come with lies and false doctrine. They are discouraged and wondering if God exists and why the world is in such a mess. They are ignorant of the great controversy going on and the final deception that is about to come to the earth. They are indifferent and hard hearted and “in need of nothing.” Do you think they are any more hopeless than we are? If anyone seemed hopeless it was the people of Israel! But Moses loved them enough to offer his eternal salvation to give them another chance!
We can learn to love people like Moses did! We can make a decision to be a shepherd, go out to see people’s needs and get involved in their lives, remember our own need for God’s love and forgiveness, and ask God to be with us.
The song below (click on the play arrow) has a mournful sounding tune, but the words are very fitting. Are you convicted that you need to learn to love people more?
