Control Freaks

Have you noticed that almost everyone is a control freak in some form or fashion?

- The wife that has to know exactly what is going on for the next five days so she can stay on top of it and make sure she gets what she wants.

- The husband who has to know exactly where the wife is at all times, and who she is talking to, and why her opinion is different than his.

- The children fighting over who gets to hold the remote control, screaming because they didn’t get the candy bar they wanted at the checkout aisle, whining some sob story that “nobody cares” because they have to clean their room “all by themselves.”

- The Grandma in her control-top, push-up, slimming outfit with dyed hair, plastered face and hand-drawn eyebrows.

- The Grandpa who watches TV all day “because I want to,” mutes the newscaster because “he’s an idiot,” and avoids leaving his lazy boy recliner because “I’ve worked hard all my life, and now I’m going to do what I want for a change!”

- The cat at the door, meowing desperately to come in. When you open the door, he starts to come in but stops just short of the door and sits down, looking off into space like he’s suddenly forgotten all about the open door and can’t hear you calling him.

I don’t think that any of us would argue the fact that we like to control things - we like to have things our way. Certainly we don’t like it when things are “out of control.” But despite our natural bent toward being control freaks, there is one thing we often don’t even try to control - ourselves!

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.” Galatians 5:22,23

Temperance is defined as, self-control. The ability to control our temper, our appetites, our passions, our tongue, our facial expressions... this self-control is something that the Holy Spirit would like to produce in us.

I’ve experienced the power of addictions that have complete control over one’s life. After long struggles, I’ve had to admit that I am not able to overcome these things by my own efforts. So many times I have prayed “God, please DO SOMETHING! I have no control over this!” And God is always faithful to deliver me from the enemy’s control. But then He does something that has confused me...

After God delivers us from the addiction, He turns the reigns over to us and invites us to practice self-control. Why doesn’t He just control our tongue for us, or keep our temper for us, or curb our appetites Himself?

I wonder if God’s Holy Spirit produces self-control in our lives for the same reason He produces all the other things: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness... All of these things are God’s own characteristics. Obviously God thinks these traits are worth having, because HE chooses to be this way. It must be “fun”! It must be fun for Him to be self-controlled.

If only I could learn how to have fun controlling myself like I have fun controlling everything and everyone else! If only I could learn to be temperate (self-controlled).

How kind of God to offer His Holy Spirit who can produce such changes in our lives!

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.” Galatians 5:22,23

Meekness Re-defined

As I study the topic of meekness, I keep remembering a recent conversation with a friend of mine. My friend thinks that it isn’t a good idea to be a submissive, meek person. Why? Because “a meek person doesn’t think for themselves, but lets someone else think for them. A meek person is too weak to stand up for themselves and therefore will be pushed around and used as a doormat. A meek person doesn’t know what they want in life, so they just go along with what someone else wants.”

But “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness...” According to Galatians 5:22,23, meekness is a production of the Holy Spirit. It is a characteristic that God would like to create in us.

Meek: quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on; submissive

Why does God want us to be “quiet, gentle, and easily imposed upon; submissive”? And does that mean that we are not to think for ourselves, stand up for ourselves, or have a will of our own?

Look at this example in the life of Moses. (Numbers 12:1-15) Miriam and Aaron, his siblings, were rising in mutiny against Moses, claiming that the Lord had spoken through them as well as Moses and that he should not have all the authority for himself. Somehow his choice of an Ethiopian wife was evidence to Miriam that Moses should not have his leadership position.

Apparently Moses did not stand up for himself at all. Moses said of himself: “Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the earth.”

In being meek, was Moses letting Miriam and Aaron think for him? No, he didn’t divorce his wife because they didn’t happen to like her. He didn’t follow their thinking at all. But he didn’t retort angry words either. He apparently stayed quiet.

In being meek, was Moses actually too weak to stand up to his sister? Earlier in his life he killed an Egyptian with his bare hands! I imagine he could have “taken out” his elderly sister quite easily! But Moses remained gentle with her.

In being meek, did Moses just go along with his siblings and let them push him around? No, there is no indication that Moses stepped down because of Miriam’s words. But he also did not climb up on a pedestal and defend himself or denounce his sister. He knew what he wanted in life - he wanted to follow God’s plan for his life, and submit to His will.

Moses didn’t need to stand up for himself, God took care of the situation!

God called the three together and made it clear that Miriam and Aaron were the ones out of line. God declared that He Himself had chosen Moses to lead the people of Israel; He had not chosen them. Miriam became a leper for 7 days...

“Meekness... is the result of a person’s conscious choice to trust in God and lean on Him, as opposed to pushing for one’s own ways.”

“Meekness is the absolute ceasing to fight for our agenda and believing that God will fight on our behalf for His.”

My friend is right about one thing. If I were quiet, gentle, easily imposed on, and submissive without a God to depend on, I would lose my identity, freedom, and freewill! There are plenty of people in the world who could run me over!

But if I am trusting in my Creator and Savior to lead me along - and I actually follow Him! - then whatever opposition rises up along the way is not my concern. God will take care of the slander, the roadblocks, and the despots. I can be meek toward others and let God be responsible for protecting me. What a relief to know that I don’t have to be on the defense around everyone!

Meekness is not weakness; it’s letting our superior Creator be our Defender.

“Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly of heart. And ye shall find rest for your souls.” ~ Jesus (Matthew 11:28-30)