Settling In

I’m finally getting settled into my new homes and work here in Sioux City and Spencer, Iowa. The first three weeks have been a blur of new faces and places, along with the more familiar - feelings of loneliness and nerve-wracking decision making. But setting my schedule and visiting most of the church members has helped a lot. The people are welcoming here, and I have some friends already.

There are plenty of challenges. I really don’t see how it is even possible to work and live in two places at once. Even pastors who have five churches only live in one place! But God has promised to “work all things together for good.” So, all will be well in the end.

Here are a few pictures to give you a glimpse of my life here in Iowa:

In order to move, after Christmas break at home, we had to sled my belongings down the driveway (because we were snowed in again... or is that still?). Mom and Dad helped me take 11 sled-loads and armloads down the 1/4 mile driveway.

This is the house I stay at while in Sioux City, Iowa. Mrs. Whitcomb is 93 and the house was built for her grandmother! She is mothering me on Monday, Tuesday, and every other weekend while I am in town. Here she is waving goodbye from the door as I left the other morning...

I’ve never been in charge of so many keys in my life! Can you tell which one belongs to Mrs. Whitcomb’s front door? : } (No kidding!)

This is my upstairs bedroom and the bathroom there at Mrs. Whitcomb’s.

In the other town, Spencer, one of the church members has recently remodeled a little house five blocks from Lake Okabogi. He is letting me stay here until the place sells, or until his son gets an internship in the area.

So this is my Wednesday, Thursday and every other weekend house.

It is so nice to have my own space and be able to “set up house”! The furniture was put here by the realtors for showing. Bruce, the home-owner, brought these two fancy bar stools “so you’ll have a place to sit while you eat!” And the rest came in my Little Red Chariot.

How ironic that the shower curtains here are the EXACT shades of green and blue that I used to denote Spencer and Sioux City events on my computer’s calendar! I can’t look at them without thinking of my schedule for the week...

The snow was deeper when I first got here. The air conditioner that you partially see here, outside the patio door, was only a bump in the snow when I first came.

Paddington, my 25 year old teddy bear, is content anywhere. But I did have to remove the air mattress from my room and just sleep on the realtors’ mattress on the floor, because the air mattress was too cold! (doesn’t warm up with body heat like a real mattress)

My purpose here is to help the churches begin an evangelism cycle as well as reach out to their communities. Neither church understood what the Empowered Church program was about, so there will be a lot of educating and side-by-side working. I’m preaching 3-4 times a week too. So any “spare time” has been spent writing sermons. But I hope to somehow keep up the blog, so we can all stay in touch.

I know the spacing on this thing is all discombobulated. But I need to get home and go to bed.

Please keep me in your prayers. (I especially need humility, patience, kindness, unselfish love, and dependence on God’s wisdom and leading)

Love and Sonshine, Toni

Home for the Holidays

I’m so thankful that for the first time in seven years I was able to spend Thanksgiving with my parents. I also got to spend Christmas and most of January. As you can see, my parents weren’t the only ones glad to see me get some rest at home.

Mom’s pretty fall flower arrangement and Iowa indian corn added to the mood...

And her hours in the kitchen added to my waistline : )

Just moments after I took this picture, Bogie (the Great Dane/Lab dog) stood next to the table, and while our backs were turned, licked out half of the pumpkin pie with three swipes of his big tongue! Mom laughed so hard that she couldn’t properly punish him. And she stayed up until almost midnight making another pumpkin pie...

Most of this yummy relish tray was Mom’s home canning! It was so good that there were only two pickles left by the end of Thanksgiving dinner with Grandpa Minikus, my Uncle Kevin & Aunt Margo, Margo’s parents, Mom & Dad and I.

Christmas morning I woke up to sparkling frost patterns on my bedroom window! (the new background on the blog is also frost on the window - I did colorize it, of course)

A storm had covered everything in 1/2 inch of ice and created thousands of 3 inch icicles, then dumped 6-8 inches of snow.

Unfortunately, it was so cold outside that I could only take pictures for about 45 minutes before my gloved fingers couldn’t bend to push the buttons anymore.

Mom brought the barn cats into the basement for fear that they would get snowed in there without any thawed water. It’s a good thing she did because it snowed for the next two days - a real Iowa blizzard!

Haven’t the “kittens” grown?! I tried to repeat the picture I had before by holding all three monsters in my arms. But even with a bowl of wet cat food I couldn’t get them to co-operate...

It was fun being snowed in. Christmas presents, though nice, were not half as nice as getting to spend so much time together. (Speaking of presents though, I got a really neat one. Dad, a coin collector, bought me, from Littleton Coin Company, a real Roman coin from circa 100 B.C. - the type the widow would have given in Jesus’ day, a tiny bronze “mite.” It is crazy to hold something in your hand that is so old!)

OK, maybe we got a little bit of cabin fever after three days... But Roxy, Mom’s dog, still wanted to cuddle!

Dad made a new knob for my crockpot out of a piece of firewood! It was such a nuisance when the old handle broke; I am so glad for a new one. You can see the piece of firewood he used and how he put my name on it under the finish. (he even put a little R with a circle around it so it looks like the cookware trademark is Toni : ) How’s that for a designer kitchen appliance?!

And the snow continued on... Mom used to have to reach up over her head to fill these bird feeders! The drifts were over waist high in many places of the yard.

Matt and Josie needed to leave Dec. 28th, and our quarter mile driveway was too deep for the neighbor’s tractor. So we called another neighbor from eight miles down the road. He took one look from his big tractor and went back home! Three hours later he came driving up our road in his CAT with a box grader on the back! Unfortunately he got stuck on the second pass and Dad convinced him that it was good enough. After a lot of shoveling by hand, we were able to send Matt and Josie tobogganing down the hill in their station wagon. They made it!

January 4-6th we had another blizzard and very cold temperatures (like air temperatures down to -30F!). After the storm, the snow crystals still being blown around in the air created this beautiful snowbow! By tomorrow (Jan 15th) we are supposed to get up to 34F, so our winter wonderland is going to start to melt away. I’m sure Mom and Dad will be glad to not have to park at the neighbors and walk up and down the driveway to get to and from work!

Finally got to go to my sister's place spend some time with her family. The boys have grown so much!

The warmer temperatures caused the snow to evaporate and make dense fog in the air that formed thick needles of frost at night!

And so the winter wonderland continues!

A New Mission and Dreams Fulfilled

I have to write to tell you all of my new job. No doubt it will be the most difficult position yet, but it is such an answer to prayer I can't help but be excited.

As I was finishing up in Topeka, Kansas I learned that my job with Empowered Church program through Amazing Facts was going have to end because of legalities of stipend workers and government regulations (they were going to have to pay me a regular wage rather than a stipend and they couldn't afford it).

Pastor Jean Ross took my resume and presented it to the church in Sacramento CA where Doug Bachelor preaches from. They e-mailed me a few times and asked me to come out for a three month probationary position! This would have become a permanent position with great opportunities. It was a Bible worker's dream job for sure - the hoard of people wanting Bible studies would even come to the church and I wouldn't have to drive anywhere! I hadn't heard anything from the other resumes I had sent out and decided that this must be the way God was leading. I was to start in Sacramento on Feb 1st.

Then on Jan 5th I got a surprise call from the Iowa/Missouri conference of Seventh-day Adventists asking me if I would consider a position as the Bible worker and church coach for two churches who are simultaneously doing the Empowered church program (which is what I have been doing for the year and a half). I will have to live in Sioux City for half a week and Spencer for half a week (a 2 hour drive apart), and one of the churches doesn't have a Pastor or any leadership at all... It's not exactly a dream job, but I have to explain something....

When I first became a Christian I was watching a video report at church that showed a map of the USA with little shining dots appearing where missionary work was going on. They were reading a quote about how the message of who God really is will go to every part of the world. And I watched to see a light appear in Iowa... the scene ended with not a single dot in Iowa and just one or two in the whole Midwest! It sparked a dream in my heart to be a light here in Iowa so that all my neighbors and family would also get to know God. And as the years have gone by I have tried to get a Bible work job here, tried to share with my family and neighbors, tried to stay here to shine for Jesus. But I kept getting sent everywhere but Iowa!

Now my dream is coming true! I know it will be really difficult - the needs here are so great that even a whole team of Bible workers would struggle to make a difference. But God has led me for the last 7 years... to Ukraine, to ARISE, to my first two years of Bible work in Michigan, to Radiant Living, to working in three places with the Amazing Facts Empowered Church program... I have learned so much in these places. Most of all I have learned that God is the one who loves people, and I am the one who gets to witness it! And I am SO thankful that He is calling me to shine my little light here in Iowa. There is a dot on the map now! Even if I only get to be a small part of starting this work, I will be eternally grateful. God fulfills the dreams He plants in our hearts!

What to Do When the Flu Bugs You

Drink Lots of Water!

It is amazing how much water you lose while perspiring from a fever! I drank a gallon a day (literally) and was still getting dehydrated. All of your body’s defense mechanisms use water to remove the dead viruses and bacteria from your body. All that mucous is made from water... so you need a lot of plain water to keep up with the extra demands.

Sleep, sleep, sleep...

With that H1N1 flu, you won’t feel like hopping around anyway! I could barely stay awake during the fever days. Your body heals most when you are in sleep mode; when other body functions are at rest the immune system is allowed to use your full energy to fight off the virus.

Eat those “bitters”

Goldenseal, garlic, grapefruit seed extract, elderberry extract, and the like, are natural antiviral substances. Antibiotics only kill bacteria, and “the flu” is a viral infection; so the only medicines that can do much to fight viruses are natural options such as these.

“Feed a cold; starve a fever.”

I think that saying is backwards. If you have an extended fever like with H1N1 it is probably a good idea to eat something everyday to keep up your strength. Applesauce was my favorite - takes little energy to prepare and swallow. Eat something or you’ll end up like a stick!

Fresh Air and Sunshine

Climb out of bed and try to get some fresh air and sunshine. Thankfully we had a nice warm (with the help of a blanket) sunny day when I was starting to recover. I fell asleep in the patio chair and felt so much better when I woke up! The body needs lots of oxygen for all of it’s processes, and sunshine is a known healing agent.

Pray, man-’tis mortal

Whenever I get sick like this, every ugly thing I have ever seen, ever repetitive song, every fear, every nasty thought - all comes into my mind and cycles over and over in a horrible fever dream. Sickness is a breeding ground for depression and self pity. Only our Creator and Great Physician can heal these infirmities. And “He hears the prayers of the faint... and him that has no helper”!

Inch back into Life

Even though you begin to feel better, remember to be temperate. Don’t overdo it. Slowly get used to eating regular meals. You’ll have to exercise to get your strength back for sure! But don’t try to do it all in one day. Relapses are not worth it!

When the Temperature Gets Turned Up

I’m lonely tonight. The people I stay with are out of town for the weekend, so the house is empty except for the two dogs and I.

I’m sick tonight. Started feeling strange last night around 6pm. Was so weak and dizzy that I felt nauseated. Slept for 12 hours straight, and woke up feeling weak, as if I’d been fasting for a couple days, but definitely felt better than the night before. By 6pm tonight I could barely put one foot in front of the other to take the dogs for their walk. A sore throat started coming on. I can tell I have a fever now.

I’m hopeful tonight. I am supposed to preach for the Spanish congregation tomorrow. And a lady I met here in the community invited me to her housewarming party in the afternoon. Sunday we have a craft night at the church planned. I’m supposed to pick up two of my friends from the community, and another one is coming by special bus in her wheelchair. I am supposed to be bringing all the snacks. Certainly God knows all this and will work something out if I’m too sick to do these things for Him. I’m hoping that the flu will hold off long enough for me to make it through the weekend.

I’m exhausted tonight. The last month or so has been extremely busy. My job here in Topeka ends Dec 20th. There are always so many loose ends to tie up. Have been trying to find people to take over the Bible studies I am having with people. I take someone and introduce them to my “student” and they inform me later that they will not be able to study with the student after all... And so I take someone else, and start the process all over again. When I’m not preparing for or giving a Bible study, I am doing some kind of footwork for an event the church will be holding. And then there are cover-letters to write for resumes to send to try to find a job for next year. And the company who changed my car’s struts did something wrong and this will be the second time I have to take it back for “fixing.” And the phone rings on and on...

I’m thankful tonight. In spite of the economy and the insensitivity of this generation, I am working in Topeka, Kansas by the generosity of donations from people who believe that there is value in helping the community and sharing the Word of God with others. I could be in any number of situations at this stage in my life. But God has so arranged that I am able to travel around and tell my story of how He has rescued me and how He is changing me from a proud, self-centered, introverted brat into someone who is being drawn out of herself, hurt by the needs of others, and humbled by my inability to help. I’ve learned so much in the last seven years I have been traveling. My 1996 “Little Red Chariot” is still running soundly at 190,000 miles (and I put 100,000 of them on myself in the last 5 years)! My former boss sent my resume to a prestigious church which is considering hiring me. Though I don’t have a degree, they think the last seven years of experience have qualified me for such a position. And I shouldn’t complain about all the phone calls I deal with; I used to be so shy that I was afraid to make phone calls, or even answer the phone!

I’m too blessed to be depressed or stressed. And too sick and tired to realize it.

Thankfully, God understands!

Knowing is the Difference

“You don’t know me like that!” I first heard that expression in Detroit, MI. The girl sounded irate and was basically telling the guy that he couldn’t treat her with such familiarity unless he planned to give her more exclusive attention. Her blatant challenge was also her heart’s desire. Who doesn’t want to be known, understood, heard, respected... loved?

It seems as though the Samaritan woman was just as forward with her challenge. And despite her brash demeanor, we discover that her heart’s desire was also to be known and loved. (John 4:1-43)

“Give me a drink”... I would like something from you.

“You don’t know me like that! Can’t you tell I’m a Samaritan woman?!”

The Samaritans had been Jews at one time. But invading forces had captured Samaria and intermarried with their people, “polluting” their bloodlines, and introducing pagan religions. These unfortunate people were now ignored and despised by the Jews. History records a resulting hate on both sides.

“You don’t know me!” was her response. And his comeback was intriguing: “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”

Jesus countered her, “You don’t know me! If you knew me, you would know that I have something to give you - a gift from God. You would be asking me for something.”

“Just who do you think you are?!” she retorts. She’s never met a Jew like this before! Of all the arrogant Jews she’s seen, this one takes the cake! He talks as if he is better than all Jews put together. He claims to bring a gift from God! Living water? Ha! He doesn’t even have a container to draw water out of the well for himself!

Jesus goes on to explain what he meant by living water. This “water” is a satisfying, a quenching, of the thirst of our hearts to be known, loved, and rescued from our situation. This satisfying water (relationship) would become a bubbling spring unto eternal life.

“If you’ve got such a thing, give it to me! I’d love to not have to come here to get water every day. I’d love to never get thirsty anymore.” She admitted that the offer sounded pretty good. But her words smell of doubt and sarcasm. She didn’t believe that this man could actually take care of her thirst. And she didn’t take up his challenge to get to know him.

But Jesus persisted with His offer... “Go call your husband, and come here.” The woman said, “I have no husband.” And Jesus said “You are right in saying you have no husband; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.”

This “arrogant” Jew, who she had never met in her life, told her the sad history of her life, a history that revealed her desire to be known and loved. He does know her after all! How does He know?! Who is this man? NOW she wants to know Him!

She regards him as a prophet (messenger for God) and asks Him a testing question of the day. The Jews say you have to participate in the worship at the temple in Jerusalem. The Samaritans set up their own counterpart and proclaimed that it is just as good to worship in the Samaritan temple...

Jesus, knowing that in a few short years these temples would be destroyed and useless said, “Believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know, we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews [The Messiah was prophesied to come from the family line of the Jews]. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is a spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”

It wasn’t about where a person worshipped, but if they knew who they were worshipping! God is not a place, not a mountain or a building. He is a spirit: a person, a being, a relational Being at that. He is seeking people to worship Him “in spirit and truth” - from their heart, in truth, in honesty, in open relationship, open communication, knowing Him. Jesus pointed out that not location but knowing is the difference!

The woman responded with the only thing she could say she really knew: “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When He comes, he will tell us all things.” She was counting on this Messiah to come someday and make everything right, tell all things, answer her questions... and this man was answering so wisely...

Jesus must have been so happy to let her know, “Yes! You are talking to Him! It’s me!”

The disciples came back from town with food and interrupted this conversation. The woman, still shocked and excited, left her water pitcher behind and ran to town to tell the people. And what was the evidence she proclaimed to them? Why did she think this man could be the Messiah? “Come see a man who told me all that I ever did...” He knows me! He knows me! He knows me, and yet He talked to me... The fact that He knew her made all the difference in the world to this woman. It caused her to want to know Him and to invite other people to know Him.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

How can we know that God knows us, unless we spend some time getting to know Him?

Flying Higher Under Constraint

My earliest memory comes from when I was about two years old. Grandpa Minikus bought a kite and took Dad and Mom and I half a block down the road to the empty lot next to the huge Council Bluffs grain elevators. The kite was a brightly colored plastic. The day was also bright, but chilly; and the wind made me squint as it blew in my face.

Grandpa must have really talked up this kite flying experience, because to this day I can remember the suspense! It was a serious business and things had to be done just right. Mom and Dad stood off to one side, and I was to run next to Grandpa. He put the wing braces in and laid the kite out on the ground, pretty side down. The instructions were repeated again. I was to run my little legs very fast next to Grandpa’s long-legged, polio-stricken walk. “Ready?... Set?... Go!”

I remember running over the muddy, uneven ground for all I was worth, until... “Toni! Go get my shoe!” Grandpa was somewhere behind me and he sounded panicked. “Shoe?” I stopped running and turned around. There was Grandpa trying to balance on one leg and reel in kite string at the same time. And there was his shoe, a step behind and stuck in the mud! I remember tugging frantically at the shoe and making my way through the mud to hand it to him amidst the breathless laughter of my parents and Grandpa, who somehow managed to keep the kite afloat during this whole escapade!

Flying a kite still holds the same sense of adventure for me today as it did back then. When I was in Vancouver, Canada, a church member took us to English Bay to fly his two handed kite. Has anyone here ever had an opportunity to fly a two-handed kite?That was really fun, and scary too! Sometimes it felt as if it would lift me right off the beach! Somehow I feel like I am flying free, up there in the sky, when I am flying a kite.

Dad shared an illustration with me about a kite that helps explain the following two verses. See if you can figure out how these verses can be compared to a kite:

2Cor. 5:14 For the love of Christ constrains us;

John 15:10 If you keep my commandments, you shall abide in my love

These verses sound rather restrictive. We can only stay in His love if we keep His commandments? Where is the freedom in this?

It sounds even worse when you look at the definition for constrain (to keep in, compel). The love of Christ keeps us in? compels us? Sounds like force! Where’s the freedom?

Think of how a kite works. There is wind to pull it away. Gravity that tries to pull it down. And a string to keep it in (constrain it). In order for the kite to rise high in the air and soar around “freely,” it must be kept tightly in with a string. If the kite gets loose from the string it will fly around up there totally free for a brief while. Then what happens? Yep, it dips and dives and eventually crashes into the ground.

God’s commandments are like the string. They pull us toward the One who causes us to fly free. The commandments restrict us for sure. We can’t do this, wear that, eat this, say that, think this, act like that...

I know for myself, it is really easy to avoid restraint. I will make up all sorts of excuses and reasons why I don’t need to follow this or that...

Do you ever feel restricted by the commandments? Guess what. We should! If we don’t, maybe it’s because we aren’t letting them constrain us. Maybe we have cut loose. Maybe we are deciding for ourselves that this is OK, God doesn’t really care, that would be Pharisaical, only the fanatics stick that close to the commandments, after all God wants us to fly free...

But we will only stay afloat for a little while if we choose our own way and cut loose. We need these restrictions. The restrictions are what keep us flying in freedom. The tight connection is not to drag us down but to keep us up.

It’s true the commandments do restrict us -- they restricts us from crashing! In this windy world of sin and deadly grave-ity, the only way for our kite to fly free is to be constrained by the commandments of God.