withHim

The Tenacity of Life

2011-04-14T15:50:00.002-05:00

Mom and Dad saw this in the yard a few weeks ago. This piece of grass did not just happen to grow up where there was a hole in the leaf for it to go through. It actually made a hole in the leaf to grow through it!

The lesson Dad got from it is in quotes below, and the title is my Mom's.

And I think it is neat that my parents are the kind of people that take the time to notice the fascinating things about nature and think of what we can learn from them.

"Even though God's truth is soft and tender, it is able to penetrate the most dry, crusty heart."

St Lucia Mission

2011-04-10T19:22:00.010-05:00

I was blessed to be able to go on a mission trip to help with the building of a much needed school on the Caribbean island of St. Lucia. It is down at the end of all those little islands way south of Florida and not so far from Venezuela.

The pictures will give you an idea of the flora, fauna, and friends we met there. The video was created for a get together of the folks who went on the trip, so it is not narrated. I'll give a brief description of what we did there and you'll just have to guess as to the meaning behind the pictures:

Over 85 people from the church I am working with in Indiana (and a few from South Dakota, Minnesota, and Michigan jumped on board too) went down to lay tile for the new school. About 11,000 sq. ft of tile was laid! And a little room for a music building was started. Vacation Bible schools were held in 4 elementary schools. Health/hygiene talks were given at several schools. The Pastor was asked to come to two public schools to give out free Bibles and talk to the 7th graders about how to get to know God. Our medical teams went to villages and treated 460 people. And we all lived in two "houses" and kept up a family atmosphere by having worship together every morning and night and eating meals together as the various teams came back from their work sights. We made a lot of good friends and learned many precious lessons.

Enjoy a bit of St. Lucia!

The Work Sight: 10,000 sq. ft. of tile was laid in this new , much needed, elementary school.

While some worked, others visited schools in other villages and spoke to the kids about health.

One of the patients who came to the medical clinics.

The Grand Piton

A flying fish.

Lizard fighting to see who gets the female.

Fruits of St. Lucia

Our team (most of us anyway).

A New Mission and Recalibration

2011-03-24T18:51:00.004-05:00

It is hard to believe that I have been in Indiana for two months already. I came here on the terms of at least a three year commitment (the longest I have ever been in one place), and I thought that it would feel like a VERY long time to be in one place. But if the rest of that time goes as quickly as these two months, it won't seem like long at all!

This is a picture of the church; and below it, the house I will move into eventually.

My first assignment here has been to visit all the church members (about 260 attending). It has been so much fun to get to know everyone. I have especially enjoyed visiting all the retired pastors, teachers, colporters, and missionaries; they have so many experiences to share and have gained so much wisdom!

I had the opportunity to help out with a Purity Retreat for the girls at the Christian Highschool connected with the church. And, so far, my favorite part of the job is joining the Pastoral staff as they lead out in Friday morning worship with the elementary school students - the little kids are so full of life and joy.

This past week 85 of the church members went to St. Lucia for a mission trip. I really enjoyed getting to know everyone on our team and the St. Lucian Christians we met. I will post a separate article on that so I can show you a lot of pictures.

Right now I am living with a dear couple who have taken me in as their daughter. They already feel like family to me, and I appreciate their generosity. [Mr. Teeter is even letting me use half of his garden this summer!] Eventually I will move into my own house right next to the church! I am excited to have my own home where I can have my family come stay with me and invite people over for meals, etc. Right now the house is nearly "gutted" for remodeling; but I can picture how cute it will be with Grandma's furniture and my plants...

The last few months have been a sort of transition for me. I've been recognizing my need to prioritize and keep a tighter focus on life. There is so much to keep one busy and so many good things to do that it is too easy to get caught in the "rip-tides" and never get where you want to go. (Since I can't swim this has double meaning for me!)

Trying to set a schedule and prioritizing life is difficult to say the least! I really appreciated a sermon that the Pastor I work for here in Cicero, Indiana, gave a month ago. He called it "Re-Calibrating for Rendezvous." The sermon strengthened my convictions that I need to really think about where my life is headed and what needs recalibrating in order to meet the destination I desire. Below is a list of some of the things I wrote in my journal after much thinking on the subject. Maybe you would like to make your own list?

~ spend more time with all of my family

~ keep in better contact with the people I have met everywhere

~ less chit-chat and more eternal-reality conversations

~ more intentional in caring for my health (may need it!)

~ pay more attention to the Holy Spirit's convictions

~ spend as little time as possible on "everyday life" (simplify)

~ think more about how to best use my resources

~ repent sooner/let God change me quicker

~ take time every day to remember how good God is and the Hope we have

~ keep my eyes and ears open (to "take in" the things that are happening all around us) and appreciate the wise and wonderful things God is doing to prepare us all for transition from this mess of a world to Heavenly love and rightness for all eternity. I want to capture the moments in as much detail as possible, so I can share it with the whole universe someday.

Back to Blogging

2011-02-22T18:22:00.009-06:00

Hello everyone! (although I do not know how many “everyone” is anymore - I haven’t written for so long people probably don’t bother to check it out!)

The transition from Iowa to Indiana has been relatively easy. Now that I am starting to get into the swing of things here, I hope to write more regularly. My goal for this year is to write out a series of mini Bible studies on the first six chapters of Daniel. And I will have other interesting things to write about and pictures to show from mission trips to St. Lucia and... I’ll let the rest unfold as time goes by.

I wanted to show some of the pictures from my time at home. It was such a blessing to get to spend 7 weeks with family. I’m feeling kinda far away at the moment, so I hope to keep this light and not get melancholy.

I got to go home for Thanksgiving again this year!!! I was the only kid who made it home this year and Dad's side didn't come either, so it was a quiet holiday. Thanksgiving morning while Mom was on the phone talking to Grandpa (who we thought was coming over) I was peeling the potatoes Mom had in the sink. I saw that Mom had about 5 pounds more sitting in a basket on the floor. Obviously, she wasn't planning to use them. I decided to peel those too, since we always seemed to run out of mashed potatoes before we ran out of the other leftovers... well, as I said Grandpa and the others decided not to come. So we had PLENTY of mashed potatoes! Like two gallons of them!! Mom and Dad teased me all weekend over that. (and you know what? none of them went to waste!)

Pretty Indian corn that Mom got from the place where she works.

On December 21 my Dad got a special birthday present - the lunar eclipse. It won't happen again like it did that night for another 175 years, or something like that. Dad and I got up in the middle of the night to watch it fully eclipse. It was SO pretty! The picture (at half eclipse) doesn't do it justice... I should have gotten out my tripod.

This actually happened before Thanksgiving... Bogie ran through a barbed-wire fence and cut himself very, very badly on his tummy. The vet had to put in fifteen or so stitches, which he promptly pulled out with his teeth when he got home the next day. So the vet stapled him together the second time and gave him "the cone of shame" to keep him from trying his talent on the staples. Bogie HATED the collar. But I thought it was so cute! He looked like a flower, so I kept calling him "Bogie Begonia" which he didn't think was very funny!

At Christmas time Bogie was constantly begging to go outside to chew on the dead deer in the neighbor's pasture... I won't tell you any more details about that.

Roxie was cute as ever and tried to appear innocent of the "deer offense" but she got her share of it too. Gus (the cat) stayed out of trouble the whole seven weeks I was home.

Genesis has some sort of attack while I was home that resembled a seizure or stroke. But she came out of it in about five hours. She was sleeping peacefully here, by the way.

Charity (one of the "Texas Long-Legs" as Mom calls the kittens) couldn't keep his paws off the tree ornaments. It was like having kids around again for Christmas.

Hope (one of the kittens rescued from Texas) is still skittish, but very beautiful.

Christmas Eve was spent at my Grandpa Minikus' as tradition has always had it. I really enjoyed seeing my Grampa, all my Aunts and Uncles together, and most of my cousins. This is a picture of my Dad (2nd from right) and Grampa (in the middle), and my Aunts and Uncles.

Matt taught me some new chords and picking patterns on the guitar (my Christmas present from Mom and Dad). It was so much fun!

As usual, Mom cooked way too much good food! This is a very yummy pumpkin pie in progress.

And these are some happy people ready to eat our belated Christmas Dinner (we waited for Matt and Josie to get home).

Gretchen and Joe and the boys put on an amazing spread too. Grandma Schorsch would have been impressed with the pretty table setting.

Some of my family are not crazy about me putting their pictures on my blog sight. I promised them that I would only use their best glamour shots...

While at home at Mom and Dad's I looked down at the floor and laughed to see another good "feet picture." This was Bogie's stuffed toy called Bandy Bird.

My sister got me two hermit crabs for Christmas! I used to have crabs as pets when I was younger. It has been fun to have them again. And they are pets that can travel (reasonably well). This is Amerigo (who must be a female because she changes shells about every three days). Picket was too shy to get his picture taken clearly.

Control Freaks

2010-12-27T14:04:00.001-06:00

Have you noticed that almost everyone is a control freak in some form or fashion?

- The wife that has to know exactly what is going on for the next five days so she can stay on top of it and make sure she gets what she wants.

- The husband who has to know exactly where the wife is at all times, and who she is talking to, and why her opinion is different than his.

- The children fighting over who gets to hold the remote control, screaming because they didn’t get the candy bar they wanted at the checkout aisle, whining some sob story that “nobody cares” because they have to clean their room “all by themselves.”

- The Grandma in her control-top, push-up, slimming outfit with dyed hair, plastered face and hand-drawn eyebrows.

- The Grandpa who watches TV all day “because I want to,” mutes the newscaster because “he’s an idiot,” and avoids leaving his lazy boy recliner because “I’ve worked hard all my life, and now I’m going to do what I want for a change!”

- The cat at the door, meowing desperately to come in. When you open the door, he starts to come in but stops just short of the door and sits down, looking off into space like he’s suddenly forgotten all about the open door and can’t hear you calling him.

I don’t think that any of us would argue the fact that we like to control things - we like to have things our way. Certainly we don’t like it when things are “out of control.” But despite our natural bent toward being control freaks, there is one thing we often don’t even try to control - ourselves!

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.” Galatians 5:22,23

Temperance is defined as, self-control. The ability to control our temper, our appetites, our passions, our tongue, our facial expressions... this self-control is something that the Holy Spirit would like to produce in us.

I’ve experienced the power of addictions that have complete control over one’s life. After long struggles, I’ve had to admit that I am not able to overcome these things by my own efforts. So many times I have prayed “God, please DO SOMETHING! I have no control over this!” And God is always faithful to deliver me from the enemy’s control. But then He does something that has confused me...

After God delivers us from the addiction, He turns the reigns over to us and invites us to practice self-control. Why doesn’t He just control our tongue for us, or keep our temper for us, or curb our appetites Himself?

I wonder if God’s Holy Spirit produces self-control in our lives for the same reason He produces all the other things: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness... All of these things are God’s own characteristics. Obviously God thinks these traits are worth having, because HE chooses to be this way. It must be “fun”! It must be fun for Him to be self-controlled.

If only I could learn how to have fun controlling myself like I have fun controlling everything and everyone else! If only I could learn to be temperate (self-controlled).

How kind of God to offer His Holy Spirit who can produce such changes in our lives!

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.” Galatians 5:22,23

Meekness Re-defined

2010-12-20T14:03:00.000-06:00

As I study the topic of meekness, I keep remembering a recent conversation with a friend of mine. My friend thinks that it isn’t a good idea to be a submissive, meek person. Why? Because “a meek person doesn’t think for themselves, but lets someone else think for them. A meek person is too weak to stand up for themselves and therefore will be pushed around and used as a doormat. A meek person doesn’t know what they want in life, so they just go along with what someone else wants.”

But “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness...” According to Galatians 5:22,23, meekness is a production of the Holy Spirit. It is a characteristic that God would like to create in us.

Meek: quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on; submissive

Why does God want us to be “quiet, gentle, and easily imposed upon; submissive”? And does that mean that we are not to think for ourselves, stand up for ourselves, or have a will of our own?

Look at this example in the life of Moses. (Numbers 12:1-15) Miriam and Aaron, his siblings, were rising in mutiny against Moses, claiming that the Lord had spoken through them as well as Moses and that he should not have all the authority for himself. Somehow his choice of an Ethiopian wife was evidence to Miriam that Moses should not have his leadership position.

Apparently Moses did not stand up for himself at all. Moses said of himself: “Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the earth.”

In being meek, was Moses letting Miriam and Aaron think for him? No, he didn’t divorce his wife because they didn’t happen to like her. He didn’t follow their thinking at all. But he didn’t retort angry words either. He apparently stayed quiet.

In being meek, was Moses actually too weak to stand up to his sister? Earlier in his life he killed an Egyptian with his bare hands! I imagine he could have “taken out” his elderly sister quite easily! But Moses remained gentle with her.

In being meek, did Moses just go along with his siblings and let them push him around? No, there is no indication that Moses stepped down because of Miriam’s words. But he also did not climb up on a pedestal and defend himself or denounce his sister. He knew what he wanted in life - he wanted to follow God’s plan for his life, and submit to His will.

Moses didn’t need to stand up for himself, God took care of the situation!

God called the three together and made it clear that Miriam and Aaron were the ones out of line. God declared that He Himself had chosen Moses to lead the people of Israel; He had not chosen them. Miriam became a leper for 7 days...

“Meekness... is the result of a person’s conscious choice to trust in God and lean on Him, as opposed to pushing for one’s own ways.”

“Meekness is the absolute ceasing to fight for our agenda and believing that God will fight on our behalf for His.”

My friend is right about one thing. If I were quiet, gentle, easily imposed on, and submissive without a God to depend on, I would lose my identity, freedom, and freewill! There are plenty of people in the world who could run me over!

But if I am trusting in my Creator and Savior to lead me along - and I actually follow Him! - then whatever opposition rises up along the way is not my concern. God will take care of the slander, the roadblocks, and the despots. I can be meek toward others and let God be responsible for protecting me. What a relief to know that I don’t have to be on the defense around everyone!

Meekness is not weakness; it’s letting our superior Creator be our Defender.

“Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly of heart. And ye shall find rest for your souls.” ~ Jesus (Matthew 11:28-30)

Our Faithfulness~Faith~His Faithfulness

2010-11-09T21:09:00.002-06:00

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith...” Galatians 5:22

The study that I have been doing about the fruits of the Spirit brought up how faith and faithfulness relate to each other. It said that: “Faith is that indefinable power, a gift from God, through which we can believe in a reality that yet remains unseen (Hebrews 11:1). Faithfulness, in contrast, is the working out of this inner-belief system... Acts of faithfulness are a demonstration of our faith...”

I have to put such long thoughts into a practical scenario in order to grasp what is being said. These are some of the illustrations I thought of:

A dog is known to be a “faithful” companion. I visited a lady recently admitted to a nursing home. Her husband told me how her dogs stayed awake all night, that first night she was away. The dogs faith (trust) that their master would come home as usual, was demonstrated by their faithful vigil.

One of the most faithful volunteers I have ever met is Larry. He works every single day at a soup kitchen. His dependability, or faithful service, comes from his deep belief that this service is needed. You see, he is without family, has a mental disability, and lives in a house that has a tree in the living room (it crashed through the roof in a storm and the house was already condemned so insurance won’t help repair it). His belief, that our society has needs, is demonstrated by his faithful service.

My Grandma Minikus was a faithful wife. Even though my Grandpa became an alcoholic... Grandma would not leave him. She told me that she believed he was worthy of her care and that someday he would come around and let God rescue him. After many years, he did! Grandma’s belief in God’s power to rescue and her belief that Grandpa was worthy of her care was demonstrated in her faithfulness all those years.

If I want to be a faithful person - dependable, honest, loyal, steadfast - I must have faith. I have to believe before I can live out a belief. Our faithfulness comes from ~ faith.

How does one get such faith? Like all the other fruits we have been studying, faith is a production of the Holy Spirit.

As I think back, I see that my faith in God has not come suddenly. And I don’t trust God because of someone’s teaching, preaching, or speeching. Rather it has been God’s own faithfulness to me, day by day, that has caused me to trust Him. Faith comes from ~ His faithfulness.

Our faithfulness comes from faith which comes from His faithfulness.

The song below has put words to my experience with God’s faithfulness. I’m sure you will find it to be true for you too!

Exciting Events

2010-11-09T15:39:00.010-06:00

Tyler Long from Amazing Facts came to present a Bible Prophecy Seminar in Sioux City Iowa. Over 120 people attended opening night at the Holiday Inn.

Tyler and LaVonne have a cute 3 year old, Isabella, who liked to ride the cart at the hotel.

Graduation from the Amazing Facts Bible study correspondence course: Tyler, Robert, Linda, Teter, Jill, and Pastor Rodriguez.

My new friend Dolly Hodges. Her husband was a POW in WWII. She is a very caring person!

Discoveries in Archeology and Prophecy Seminar in Spencer, Iowa by Tyler Long. Over 65 people attended opening night. It's been fun working with Tyler and his family. I've learned a lot and enjoy their friendship tremendously.

Some artifacts that Ryan Neil brought to show us. The oil lamp in the front is from the time of Jesus, and the iron spear head was from the Roman empire. Interesting!

Paddington and my new traveling companion - a GSMini Taylor guitar! It's just my size! Thanks Mom and Dad!

I've learned 5 chords so far and have picked out a melody for a poem I wrote. Now all three of us siblings play guitar! It will take some time to catch up to my sister and brother though!

What is Goodness?

2010-10-03T18:03:00.000-05:00

(finished writing this Oct 1, 2010)

Continuing my study of the fruits of the Spirit...

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness...”

I read a shampoo bottle the other day that reveals the condition of our society. The shampoo was called “Drama Clean.” Their motto: “I’m so good; I’ll put clean thoughts into your head.”

Usually marketing schemes target felt needs. How many people out there are looking to get rid of the drama in their life, looking for something good, and hoping to have clean thoughts in their mind? Apparently there are plenty of people out there, and they must be buying enough shampoo; it wasn’t on the clearance shelf!

Probably not many people actually believe you can get goodness from a shampoo. But when you stop to think about it, where in the world can you find true goodness?

According to Galatians 5:22,23 goodness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Goodness is something the Holy Spirit produces. And that makes sense that only a part of the Trinity could produce goodness when you consider Mark 10:18, “There is none good but God.”

What does God’s goodness look like? I found three (and there are many more) mentions of “goodness” in the Bible that help me comprehend what goodness is.

1.) In Genesis 1, after each day of creation, God pronounced that what He created was “good.”

Even though sin has upset the original Eden, we still enjoy heirlooms of how “good” things used to be:

- examining the intricacy, coloring, and unique shape of any flower

- rubbing a cat’s silky belly with your bare feet

- laying on your back in a sunny, breeze-tossed field of prairie grass

- biting into a perfectly ripe Colorado peach, juice dripping off your chin

- watching the hilarious antics of monkeys or squirrels

- trudging up foot after foot of mountain scenery and gazing down at the breathtaking panorama below

- wading in warm saltwater with sand oozing between your toes and tides washing the seaweeds back and forth around your ankles

- living in a lingering, golden-pink sunset

- picking loads of delicious, shiny berries

- enjoying the sharp scent and captivating flames of a fall campfire

- tracing the patterns of frost on the window glass

- seeing your breath become “clouds” on a damp, frigid morning

- hearing the squeak under your boots as you walk through drifts of new-fallen snow

- gazing up into a black, winter sky glittering with trillions of stars

- listening to a symphony of frogs or crickets “tune up” for the evening

- smelling the green freshness of spring as rain subsides and a rainbow softly appears

- studying the eyes of your dog as they beg for one more treat

- feeling the wind play in your hair...

It’s all good! If you want to know what goodness is, just look at the things God has made. I am sure you have felt the thrill in your heart and experienced the sense that these things are good. They are the goodness of God revealed. The goodness of God in a touch-able, experience-able, sensational version.

What is goodness? It is the beauty and rightness and awesomeness of nature - the mysterious yet pleasurable sense of a Creator who had you in mind.

2.) At the end of Genesis 1 we read that God pronounced one part of His creation “very good” - the humans He made in His image.

Oh that we were still “very good”! We certainly cannot say we “are good and do good” like David said of God (Psalm 119:68). But the goodness of our Edenic past has not all been erased. The complexity of the human body, the unfathomable ability to procreate, the constant healing process - this is still “very good”!

God specifically said that “It is not good that man should be alone.” The idea of family, belonging, togetherness, intimacy, and accountability are “very good” things.

Some people tell me how fortunate I am to still be single. I can’t help but notice that all the people who talk like this are married, were married, or technically should have been married. I have never had a single person, older than me, tell me how fortunate I am! Rather, they try to be encouraging and point out the blessings that come despite the fact that we are single, not because we are single. That is because it is NOT good for us to be alone. Thankfully I still have friends and family!...

I met a woman this year who is 85 and alone. She lost her husband 10 years ago, was never able to have children, has a nephew who came around this month only to make sure her estate and will was in order (for him), her last girlfriend died two years ago, her church picks her up like a taxi once a week for groceries or church if she’s feeling up to it, and she is coming down with Alzheimer’s... and when I went over to tell the neighbor lady about the situation right next door to her she said: “Yeah, I know, I look every morning to make sure her shade goes up. If it doesn’t, then I’ll know she’s dead and will call the ambulance.” It is NOT good for us to be alone!

Surely we have all experienced how “very good” it is to have family and friends:

- the inside joke that is only understood by someone who has experienced life with you

- being able to eat breakfast together in your pajamas, because you are family

- the “good old days” talk, reminiscing about adventures together

- someone who will notice when you lose weight, because they care

- the reason to call home when you are going to be late

- someone who’ll tell you when there is a dryer sheet stuck to the back of your pants, cowlick sticking up on the back of your head, or something green in your teeth

- piling together into one car, singing and laughing and talking until you get there

- the comforting hug, knowing look, touch on the shoulder, listening ear

- the sense that you are supposed to be there (belonging rather than intruding)

- having a right to expectations of one another (“that’s what friends are for”)

- the interesting fun of getting to know another unique mind

- the pain of loss when it has been transformed into anticipation of reuniting

What is goodness? It is the warm belonging, the helpful accountability, the safe vulnerability, and the fun interaction with friends and family, which God knew would be needed by humans created in His own relational image.

3.) Perhaps the most individualized expression of God’s goodness is found in God’s providences for our personal day to day lives.

As Joseph said to his brothers who had sold him into slavery, “...as for you, you thought evil against me; but God meant it for good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.” Genesis 50:20 It was God’s providence that turned the hate of Joseph’s brothers into the very means of keeping them, plus a whole nation, alive during a time of severe famine.

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly.” Ps 84:11

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights...” James 1:17

Trust “in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy” I Timothy 6:17

What God provides for us is good! He is the best gift giver there ever could be because He knows us intimately. A list of providences and gifts God has given to me will not mean as much to you as it does to me. But perhaps it will spark your memory to think about His providences in your life:

- When I was 6 years old my folks got me a $50 teddy bear for Christmas. Paddington may have seemed totally extravagant and ridiculous (My parents even wondered what they were thinking, but he was so cute they felt compelled!). It’s a good thing he was quality stuff! He has provided a sense of “home” and security for me for 27 years now. And as silly as it may seem to you, I know God provided that stuffed bear.

- Going to church school for first and second grade meant that I would have to stay with Grandpa Schorsch every day after school, until Dad got off work. Those hours with Grandpa formed my life’s interests - gardening, birdwatching, reading, cooking, and art. I am so thankful God provided that time to be with Grandpa, who died six years later.

- One time I visited a family that lived way out in the hill country of Iowa and thought to myself, “It would be so nice to live out here in this quiet, beautiful countryside!” Five years later we moved... to a place just four miles down the road from there! And no one knew about my heart’s desire to live in that area, except God.

- I had accepted a job in Ukraine as an English language teacher/missionary. I arrived only to discover that the school was not really connected to the church and was run by someone else trying to make money on the name! My return plane ticket was for nine months later... But the translator was from my church and offered for me to stay with his family and help with their mission work. I learned so much from that dear family, and can see how my time there changed the direction of my life.

- “The Little Red Chariot” (aka 1996 Subaru Impreza) that I got in 2005 for $3,800 with 91,000 miles on it, has carried me 134,000 miles in the last 5 years. Until recently, it only had one problem when the water pump went out. Otherwise it was the most hassle free transport I’ve ever heard of. And it is even red : } my favorite color.

- Traveling around so much, I can’t have a cat or dog... But God has provided a pet for me every summer! Each spring some little spider moves into the space behind the driver’s side mirror of my car. I enjoy watching the little thing grow into a nice fat spider. Whenever the car is stopped it will climb out and build a web between the mirror and the door. And when I start the car, it will gather up some of the threads and crawl back inside the mirror. Sometimes I forget and take off before it gets to safety. The poor thing hangs on to the web for dear life until I notice and pull over! Then it scrambles back to its shelter.

- My family, of course, is the biggest providence of my life. I would not be the same person without each of them. They are a gift that I thank God for every day. And everywhere I go, God provides people with just the things I need: people for companionship, people to teach, people to encourage, people that I can observe and learn “what not to do,” people I can love and serve, and people that I instantly bond with in a way I don’t understand completely but really enjoy. The way I meet these people is so crazy sometimes that I know they are a providence from God!

What is goodness? It is the providences, or gifts, from God that have shaped our life and carried us through. It is having Someone provide for you what you never could provide for yourself.

How does the fruit of the Spirit, goodness, manifest itself in your life? God wants to make us fruitful in goodness - as beautiful, right, and awesome as nature; as helpful, fun, safe, and close as friends and family; as useful and fulfilling to others as God’s providences are to us.

“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusts in Him.” Psalm 34:8

What's Good About Small Things

2010-09-10T16:43:00.003-05:00

(This is an old post that I am finally getting added.)

This morning I woke up in “my” new house. The house I stayed in when in Spencer, Iowa finally sold. But my landlord (can you call him that when he doesn’t charge?) bought another house just a block away.

With only one week between closings, and that week spent in my landlord’s summer cabin which is also in the neighborhood, I was barely able to grasp the fact that I was moving. It finally sunk in when I drove past the first house and saw a couple setting up their furniture in the front room...

So this morning, as I tried to sort out where I was, the bedroom finally came under scrutiny. “It’s pretty small,” I thought. The air mattress takes up about 80% of the room. And the remaining 20% is wasted space because the folding closet doors swing out over it. Oh, well. Why would I need extra space in the bedroom anyway?

I took two steps out the bedroom door and was in the kitchen in front of the sink. There are ruffled yellow curtains at that window similar to what I always pictured in my future “dream home.” And the pot my little aloe plant is in, exactly matches the yellow in the curtains. Funny how that seemed to make the plant look at home.

The view out that kitchen window is the highlight of “my” new little house. Just outside the window are loads of day lilies blooming away. (My Grandpa Minikus calls them “orchridges.” Familiar flowers make any place seem like home to me.) The flowers reach up past the sill and make bouquets in the window. Just past the day lilies is a narrow blacktop alley. Then comes the neighbor’s white picket fence with a row of perennial flowers planted all along front. Picture perfect!

After getting a drink, I took two more steps in the same direction to use the bathroom. It’s the kind of bathroom where you can sit on the toilet and spit in the sink. Comes in handy when you are in a hurry trying to brush your teeth and accomplish other things at the same time.

Back in my room I realized that I was going to have to keep all my “office” stuff in the living room. Usually my bedroom is where I do all my paperwork... there is no room for a desk in this cabin... ok, so I’ll sit on the couch in the living room... two steps to the kitchen and two steps to the right and I am in the “living room.”

The wooden floor was painted brown sometime recently, and where that layer of brown is peeling up I can see the gray underneath. I’m glad someone painted it brown instead! The walls are a creamy color that borders on chiffon yellow, so that looks much better with dark brown than the slate-gray color that is trying to re-appear on the floor.

The floor in the living room is nearly covered by a 5’x8’ area rug that is a shocking leopard print. I used two of my moving boxes for “furniture” by “papering” them with black garbage bags (I didn’t have any paper sacks... but the black plastic blends in pretty well with the black and brown leopard print rug). I put my printer on one box against one wall, and I put my philodendron and mother-in-law tongue plants on the other box in front of the double windows. My friend Jenny sent me a red silk cloth to help cover my “furniture” when she heard about my garbage bags. She knew red is my favorite color and thought that it would add a bright flower effect to my “jungle” of black plastic bags, plants, and leopard rug. It works!

The curtains in the bedroom, living room, and bathroom are all white sheers that are way too long for the windows. The previous owner tied them up with nylon strings. I still had my spider plant to put somewhere... so I bought a metal hook thing from Walmart and screwed it into the wood door jam and hung the plant there using a “macrame” plant hanger that I made out of the nylon strings that tied up the curtains. To hold the curtains back I clipped hem markers from my sewing box on them. It worked!

There is a striped hide-a-bed couch on the back wall of the living room. It’s actually really comfortable as a couch and not bad as a bed. There is a rip in the back on one side, so I lay my red lap quilt across the corner when I am not using it. Books line the walls along the floor. That is handy.

The refrigerator is the size of the one I had in the camper trailer in Texas, and it makes an ominous whistling noise when it runs. But it started up again when the power came back on after a bad storm we had; so that’s cool. And the stove is also like the one I had in the trailer, in that I light it with a match. But I have always liked cooking on gas stoves where you can see the heat and know exactly what you are doing when you cook; so that’s hot. Although the oven doesn’t get hot enough and the cake I made for my Mom’s birthday was still pudding after 25 min of baking... it eventually got done and I pulled it out to discover that the floor is so un-level in “my” house that the cake ended up 1 inch deep on one side and 1 1/2 inches deep on the other! It was so funny!

Two more steps and you are right back where you started in this tour of my new little house. Everything is close at hand and there is very little time needed to clean it! And it already feels like home. I appreciate how God always provides a space in this world for me. And I appreciate the family that is letting me stay in their cabin for free!

Oh, here is a picture of the outside. That “pine tree,” on the right of the house, someone carved from a stump! And I moved my potted flowers from the last place to this porch. Also interesting to note: the address here is 421 Lincoln Ave. When I was growing up, I lived in Council Bluffs, Iowa at 321 Lincoln Ave. How ironic!

We Have it All in Iowa!

2010-08-23T15:58:00.019-05:00

For those who think Iowa is a backwards, hillbilly, flat state with nothing but fields & farmers...

We actually have big industry! This is an ethanol plant along Highway 18.

We have some "green" thinkers. There are wind generators dotting the fields...

We even have skyscrapers - to store grain in.

Some hydroponic gardening (maple seeds sprouting in the gutters).

We are not devoid of law and order either. (a sign in the church parking lot)

We have couch potatoes like any other state. Only our couches are hay racks! (this is my nephew holding Dixie Lee, his new baby goat)

And our chickens are smart enough to run the farm machinery!

We do get snow here. Sometimes a LOT of it.

But we get sunshine most every day. (this is my Mom sitting pretty at Preparation Canyon)

We have amazing soil! This is the garden plot I am using this year.

And amazing soil makes for some amazing weeds! There is some garden in there.

The soil grows most of the nations corn.

And hay....

We do get some scary storms too, so the camping areas have storm shelters.

We have wild animals... well, wildlife. Ok, we have a lot of cows and pigs.

And cats (this is Sergeant Gusto, our house cat).

This spider spent a week in the refrigerator guarding it's egg case (I didn't know I had picked it with my Swiss Chard). When I took her out she warmed up and hauled the case all the way up the wall to the ceiling!

And some pretty big fish! This was a muskie at a fish hatchery - almost 4 feet long!

Little Bumble was the baby robin that I watched grow up in my backyard. We were good friends until I moved. I nearly picked him up one day. He went from this stubby little tail and spots to a long sleek tail and rusty red chest.

We have "wild dogs" too! Bogie, Dad's buddy, is wild about his tennis ball shooter!

We have the ugliest bugs I've ever seen - earwigs! Yucky!

Iowa also has amazing people - like my friends Dr. Dennis and Jeanette Dahl. They took me bird watching one afternoon with our cameras. Dr. Dahl is also a mountain climber and go cart racer (I know, I don't know what he does with his 6'5" in a go cart either! But I've seen pictures.

Mr. Nickum is an amazing artist. After his bout with heart disease and diabetes he started making little figurines with duct tape. He has over 150 different ones. Oh, and this is Smokey on his lap - a Chinese Hairless Crested dog. The funniest looking dog I've ever seen!

Fran is 93 and still "techy" enough to enjoy helping me choose pictures for a slideshow we made documenting the church's "A Father's Day A-Fair" event.

We have the best Chinese restaurant - our friends own it. They come to our house every July 4 with a LOT of food. I'm glad I got some this year!

And my Dad and brother had a spaghetti sauce cook-off. Yummy!

We have culture... Matt and Josie had a concert at this location in Spencer, IA.

This was the early crowd - a lot more came on time.

And we have fun with pyrotechtics.

We do have some water here at the "Iowa Great Lakes"

And, yes, we do have hills in Iowa!

Wanted: Dead or Alive (a sermon)

2010-06-28T10:22:00.004-05:00

In the old western movies you always knew someone had done something terrible when their face showed up on a poster that said “Wanted: Dead or Alive.” And usually there was a reward offered to anyone who could bring the person in.

Most everyone desires to know that they are wanted. Not necessarily the kind of “wanted” that would put them on a poster with a bounty on their head! But everyone desires to know that they are “wanted” as in valued.

Did you know that people are valuable to God and to Satan? When we understand what makes us valuable to God we begin to learn the value of every other person on earth as well. And we begin to value our Saviour...

People are extremely valuable to Satan because:

1. Satan can’t create, but people can pro-create for him

Isaiah 45 - God made all things. That leaves Satan out of picture. There is no other being that can create something out of nothing.

Satan can swell the number of beings in his rebellion by encouraging sexuality beyond its intended parameters. Can’t you see how everything from chewing gum advertisements to clothing styles keeps our sexuality in the forefront of our minds? Some, religions even, call it a sin to use birth control methods. (multiply!)

Among believers, Satan still manipulates our procreating ability by keeping the Christian parents too busy to train their children to resist Satan. By surrounding the children with influences that have nothing to do with the reality of God (video games, cartoons, sports...) the children are less likely to ever seek to know who God is or even think about Him. Satan can easily put them in touch with just the ones who will train their minds for his purposes. In this way Satan can vicariously “create” just the people needed to fulfill his plans. We’re a commodity.

2. Satan can cause hurt/pain, even death to a part of God through people

In order to forgive our sins, God has to deny His feelings of hate for sin. In a small scale I relate to this in remembering how I had to deny my feelings of repulsions about my Grandma’s gangrenous bedsores in order to clean them out and put the dressing on. It cannot be pleasant for God to see all the horrible things we do to each other; all the terrible results of our rebellious lifestyles; the chaotic, cruel world that has come to be because of our disregard for His laws of love and life. But He still looks on this ugly scene with compassion and deals with our sins. He swallows down the cup of His wrath in order to forgive us and make a way of escape. It kills a part of God. You know that He died for our sins.

For all of eternity God will carry the marks of His suffering. He promises us that He will wipe away all tears from our eyes. But He says of Himself:

“Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands” Isaiah 49:15,16

Speaking of the time when we will be in Heaven the prophet Zechariah wrote: “And one shall say unto him, What are these wounds in thine hands? Then he shall answer, Those with which I was wounded in the house of my friends.” Zechariah 13:6

For eternity God will miss those people who chose to never see His face again. Satan values people as a means to cause God eternal pain and heartache.

3. Satan can transform anyone of us into his agents; we’re so vulnerable

We are valuable to Satan because we are such pushovers. It doesn’t take much to tempt us. A nice fatty meal and an entertaining TV show and we are guaranteed to be useless to God for the rest of the night. A few disrespectful words and a frown from our spouse can tick us off for the whole day and spread the ugly attitude to everyone we come in contact with.

We are valuable to Satan as his agents to spread lies, negativity, judgmental thoughts, irreverence, dirty thoughts and just about anything else Satan wants us to do, often without even realizing it. We are no match for his trickery. He deceived Eve, and he can deceive us. That’s scary to think about, isn’t it!?! Praise God for the armor of God and the Holy Spirit! We’ll look at this more...

Bottom Line: We are wanted by Satan because he can use us for his selfish desires and plans. He wants pawns for his worldwide game of chess. He cares not whether we live or die, as long as his purposes are being carried out.

People are extremely valued by God: (how do we know? because...)

1. We were created by the God of the universe!

Think about it, when God created Adam and Eve, was somebody there twisting His arm? Did God HAVE to make us? No, He wanted to make us. He wasn’t following some manual for creating... ok, step 4... oh, gotta have a man to take care of the plants and animals - a gardener and zookeeper. No, God made everything for man. His goal in creating the earth was to make a place for the people He wanted to create. He had us in mind all along. We were a “planned pregnancy.” He desired to create us. He WANTS us!

Think of it! The God of the whole universe, the owner of every star and galaxy in the universe, the Lord of thousands times ten thousands and thousands and thousands of angels, the Ruler of an unknown number of worlds... He wanted to create you. Now that puts value on you that nothing else in the the world could!

If an ugly old painting that is just a bunch of dark blue and mustard colored dots swirling around in a formless mass, is worth millions of dollars because some man by the name of Vincent van Gogh painted it, then think how valuable we must be since we are created by the Almighty God, Creator of all that exists!

2. We are redeemed by the Son of God - Jesus Christ

Isaiah 43:1-7 “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine...vs.3 For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour... vs.4 Because you are precious in My eyes, and honored, and I love you... vs.7 everyone who is called by My name, whom I created for My glory, whom I formed and made.” Fear not, forI have redeemed you.

We are so valuable to God that He sent His beloved Son, His second self, to redeem (exchange, buy back) us from Satan. John 3:16,17

Jesus claims us as His own. He wants us! Philippians 3:12

One of Jesus’ last prayers to His Father was “that they may be with Me where I am” John 17:24 He wants to be with us! We are valuable to Him.

3. We are being transformed by the Holy Spirit into useful, awesome people

God sent the Holy Spirit to make us His heirs: those who will inherit eternal life; rather than let us be the disposable pawns of Satan. Galatians 4:67

Because He loves us, God sends the Holy Spirit to wash and renew us, transforming us... Titus 3:4,5 God could have started over! But He values us enough to patiently work with us. A typical Iowa farmer has a farm dog. If the dog chases the chickens instead of rats, and digs holes in the yard, and barks all night, the typical Iowa farmer will get rid of the dog and get another one. Typical Iowa farmers only value dogs as working animals. If they don’t perform correctly they are out! But when God works with us, He doesn’t start over. He retrains the “bad dog” - He doesn’t just get a new one. He takes the time to teach us and show us a better way, to train us up into beautiful, useful people. He loves us to much to just get rid of us and start over.

The production of the Holy Spirit, the result of His work in us, makes us loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, gentle, good, faithful, meek, temperate people. God values us so much that He sent the Holy Spirit to remake us to be useful and awesome people, if we will let Him! This is just the opposite of being vulnerable to Satan. We’re in God’s hands here. The God who wants only good for us.

Bottom Line: We are wanted by God because He enjoys blessing us, and giving of Himself to us, and training us into a never-ending life of purpose, adventure, and joy.

We have seen that we are the ones who are wanted: dead or alive. God wants us; He values every person. Even Satan wants us, for his own plans of course; nevertheless he values every person.

So how valuable are people to us?

Do we value people as Satan does? Are they valuable only as much as they fit into our plans? Or do we value people as God does? Are they valuable to us because they were created by the God of all the universes? Are they valuable because they are people we can bless? people to give ourselves, our time, and our affections to? people to teach and train into the never-ending life of eternity with God?

In closing:

I thought of Someone else who was “wanted: dead or alive.” It was Jesus. The Pharisees wanted Him dead of course. And the disciples wanted Him alive so that they could sit next to Him on His throne. But there was one person who wanted Jesus dead or alive - that was Mary Magdalene. When Jesus was alive she wanted Him; she wanted to be near Him and listen to Him. She wanted to serve Him by washing His feet with precious ointment. Remember when she sat weeping by the empty tomb after Jesus died? She told the supposed gardener that she wanted His body so she could care for it properly. She wanted to serve Him even when He was dead. She wanted Jesus dead or alive because she valued Him as the most important Person in her life.

Do we value God that much? Is He the most important Person in our lives?

May we accept the value God has placed on us, and the value He has placed on every other person on earth.

Father in Heaven, we barely comprehend how valuable we are to You. I know Satan would like to destroy this knowledge because he knows that when we feeling unwanted by You we will turn to him for belonging and feeling wanted. Please point out the evidences of the value You place on us. Please convict our minds of this truth.

And may we learn this not merely for our own sake, but for the sake of every person on earth - that we may value them as You do, and live accordingly. We ask in Jesus name, amen.

Gentleness: Kindness in Action

2010-06-13T18:34:00.001-05:00

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness...

Whenever I think of gentleness I remember a friend I used to have. He was anything but gentle. Whenever he took something out of your hand he snatched it out, caring not whether he jerked your arm or scratched you with his fingernails. If he was walking by you, you had better get out of the way or he would bowl you right over. And whisper was not a part of his volume options. You've heard the expression: “like a bull in a china closet.” He was like that!

I always thought this verse was talking about being the opposite of my friend. I thought gentleness was touching things lightly, being delicate, not getting in the way, and speaking softly... soft was the key word.

It was interesting to me to find that the original Greek word used in this listing of the fruits of the Spirit isn’t really referring to some kind of softness. The definition is: usefulness, excellence in character or demeanor, kindness; employed; to furnish what is needed. So that’s why some Bible versions use the word “kindness” in place of the King James’ version “gentleness.”

One of the fruits of the Spirit is kindness. And this kindness is “employed,” “furnishes what is needed,” “useful.”

All my life, I have had such a desire to be useful. My motivations have varied over the years. Sometimes I desire to be useful to others so that they will be useful to me in return. Sometimes I have desire to be useful because others needs are so huge that it hurts me to see them unfulfilled. Sometimes I would like people to see me as a very kind person, because I admire kind people, and I want people to admire me.

But true kindness is not a desire to be kind and useful. It is BEING kind and useful. It is furnishing what is needed. It is being employed actively for others. And that is a whole other story... A story that is not about me, but about others!

My friend actually had more gentleness than I did! He at least had the action part down! (Granted he could have been a little softer in his manner of going about things.) But he was always in full speed action for others, whereas I as softly living for myself!

I’m thankful to learn that this characteristic of gentle-kindness, usefulness employed for others, is something that the Holy Spirit produces in us. I can’t produce it in myself without my self getting in the mix!

“Thou hast also given me the shield of Thy salvation: and Thy right hand has held me up, and Thy gentleness hath made me great.” Psalm 18:35 I’m glad God is gentle!

Feeling Impatient?

2010-05-26T13:40:00.001-05:00

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering...” Galatians 5:22

This is the King James Version Bible. Other versions use the word “patience” in place of the word “long-suffering.” I suppose both words include the same meaning; but the word long-suffering conveys the emotion involved.

Lately I have wondered: “Why am I feeling so much strain and heartache? Why do I keep failing at being patient?” Somehow I have it in my head that patience is a feeling of calm without pain. But if the Bible calls it long-suffering... maybe my feelings of suffering are in order!

Looking at the definitions, I see an action aspect and an emotional aspect of patience.

patience: the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset

long-suffering: forbearance, fortitude, to bear up under, endure

The fruit of the Spirit, long-suffering/patience, will affect our actions. We will forbear to do what we feel like doing. We will continue on in our waiting. We won’t yell, lash out, be rude, etc. But notice that we will feel troubled and suffer. We will “bear up under and endure” which requires emotional strain and pain.

Think about it, many situations requiring patience also require some sort of suffering. Whether you are waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom or living with an alcoholic, your patience is going to cause you some degree of discomfort or downright suffering.

Patience is not being free from suffering; it is suffering long! That sounds terrible!... except for the fact that if one is not suffering long in this pain-filled world, it is because they are dead and only had to suffer short! Galatians 5:22 is promising that the Holy Spirit of God will bring this “fruit” of patience to our lives that we may be able to endure, keep going, carry on, suffer long... as long as needed.

To feel the strain does not necessarily mean that one has failed to be patient. We shouldn’t be discouraged if we feel the suffering. Rather we should be encouraged by the fact that God has given us the ability to endure in spite of our feelings.

Look at the great amount of long-suffering He has!...

“Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts, And saying, ‘Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation...’ The Lord is not slack concerning His promise [to return and take us home], as some men count slackness; but is long-suffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”

2 Peter 3:3,4,9

The Peace of a Wet Nest

2010-05-07T18:13:00.001-05:00

I have been visiting a lady who Pastors three churches in three small towns in Iowa. Every time I visit her the phone is ringing from church members needing this or that. Her mother recently moved in with her, which is helpful because she does all she can as secretary for her daughter. But the mother is elderly and having trouble getting around, so she can only help so much. One of the churches had a member who needed a place to stay, so arrangements were made for this lady to live with my Pastor friend and help out with secretarial work and housework. But this new “helper” has some mental issues which come out in temper tantrums, a bedroom waist-high full of stuff with only a path to the bed... and last time I went to visit, the helper was sitting on the edge of her bed, stark naked, hollering that she was going to go to bed “right now!” and wouldn’t help any more that day (it was 7pm). On top of all that, my Pastor friend is completely blind! (I think she was born blind) And I had been thinking that my life was too chaotic!

Gal. 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace...

No doubt all of us wish we had more peace in our lives. Whether we are just too busy, or dealing with circumstances like my blind Pastor friend, peace is more than welcome.

That study I read, on the “Fruit of the Spirit,” told the story of two painters who were both asked to paint a picture illustrating the concept of peace. One man painted a gorgeous mountain setting with a secluded, alpine lake. Solitude and restfulness were clearly portrayed in his masterpiece of art. The other man painted a rocky outcrop with a roaring waterfall bursting off the edge and crashing into the river below. You could almost hear the deafening roar of the waterfall and feel the sprays of water. And in the crook of a sapling tree that leaned out over the foaming river, almost wet with the mists, was a little bird sitting on her nest, cozy and serene.

Surely that little bird portrays the kind of peace we need today! Life isn’t going to slow down and become less chaotic. Circumstances are tough for everyone. The first painter’s mountain-top ideal may never happen in our lives; and if it does, it won’t last long enough! Peace in the midst of it all is what we need.

Where do we get such peace? Like all the other fruit, it is “of the Spirit.” Only a connection with the God who lives above the chaos of this earth, can root us securely in a place out of reach of the roaring destruction all around us.

“...These things I have spoken unto you, that in Me you might have peace. In the world you will have trouble. But be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” - Jesus (John 16:33)

You Can't Enhappy Joyfulness

2010-04-30T12:47:00.000-05:00

One of the fruits of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22,23 is joy.

Trying to define some of these words is not simply a matter of looking in the dictionary. For example, my computer dictionary defines joy as “a feeling of great pleasure or happiness.” So one looks up “pleasure” which is defined as “a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment.” Ok.... So you look up “happy” and it says “feeling pleasure.” Really helpful...

One author made this distinction between joy and happiness that caused me to think: “Joy and happiness are not necessarily the same thing. Happiness is the result of favorable circumstances; joy, in contrast, is the result of being... Joy is a delight that runs deeper than pain or pleasure.”

I remember this quote from another book I read a long time ago: “Happiness is as variable as changing circumstances make it; but true joy is not dependent on circumstances.”

How true that happiness changes with the circumstances of life! I can be perfectly happy one minute when things are going well, and the next minute something bad will happen that squelches the happiness. It amazes me how quickly my emotions can change! It’s also very frustrating! But thankfully there is such a thing as joy - a delight that never has to change, because it’s source never changes.

Here is a list of things that make me happy (notice how they are all changeable!):

being with family and friends
reading a good book
eating yummy food : )
growing a garden and house plants
bird watching
flowers, sunshine... all beautiful creations
writing letters, etc.
helping people
walking in the woods, exploring new territory
seeing sparkles on the water
the feeling of flying
listening to pretty music
fixing things, understanding how things work
success in accomplishing anything
having my surroundings clean
watching kittens romp
seeing people learn something new
feeling silky fabric & hugging my teddy bear
having quiet alone-time

Here is a list of things that bring me joy (they are not dependent on circumstances):

the concept of eternity
that I was created
that God loves and wants to be With Me
promises to count on
existence of free will (choices)
the ability to trust or have faith
ability to think, ponder, reflect
that forgiveness is possible
hope that carries me through
past experiences that were wonderful (memories)
God’s infinite character

Probably I would have more joy if I would look for more things to add to my list. But usually I look for happiness rather than joy.

Interesting that in the English language we can enjoy happiness, but we don’t enhappy joyfulness. Joy comes from things higher than earthly circumstances can touch. It cannot be taken away from or added to.

Whether or not we are experiencing pleasure we can have joy. Whether we are 80 years old and bedfast, or 8 years old and doing homework, we can have the same joy. It is a blessing given to all people in all places at all times. Why don’t I think about it more?

Love Is On Purpose

2010-04-07T18:12:00.001-05:00

For the last three months I have been going through a study guide on the “fruits of the Spirit” mentioned in the Bible (Galatians 5:22,23). It was so practical and full of thoughts I had never encountered before. I don’t feel like I absorbed nearly enough of it, and I didn’t want the study to end! So I have decided to write something on each chapter of the study as a way to review and re-apply the thoughts to my life.

Gal. 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

Gal. 5:20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

Gal. 5:21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Gal. 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love...

One of the fruits (results, productions) of God’s Spirit is love.

Just what is love in “real life”?

I Corinthians 13 breaks down what love is and isn’t. After each phrase I tried to write what that might look like in “real life.”

“Love suffers long” - hold my tongue, listen, let others be wrong, be calm rather than frustrated

“is kind” - do and say nice things, be helpful, smile, touch, give of one’s self, be considerate

“rejoices with the truth” - praise, affirm, be cheerful, be happy for others, sing, have joy

“bears all things” - be uplifting to others (help), carry a portion of the work/burden of others

“believes all things” - be positive, trusting, not questioning other’s motives, have unconditional respect

“hopes all things” - won’t give up on people, keeps looking for the redemption of all, perseveres

“endures all things” - put up with..., keep a-going, carry on in love regardless of...

“does not envy” - content (satisfied & appreciative of what God has given), be happy for others, supportive

“does not parade itself” - modest (covered, not in shame but in propriety and wisdom), be still, be gently present

“is not puffed up” - humble/meek, willing to be nothing, real, point to Author of love rather than to self

“is not rude” - polite, becoming intelligent about other’s feelings and caring for them, think before speaking

“does not seek its own” - live to bless others, selfless, allow others to have their way, do God’s will rather than our own

“is not easily provoked” - calm, secure (no need to defend), forgiving, value God’s opinion more than other people’s

“thinks no evil” - esteem others better than yourself, look for the good and dwell on it rather than the bad, believe

“does not rejoice in iniquity” - be heartbroken over wrongs (iniquity), rejoice in rightness (point it out, praise the good, be thankful for it)

As I was considering these aspects of love the thought came to mind that love is “on purpose.” You can’t accidentally love. It is a choice, a decision, something you do on purpose.

Think about it. Do you hold your tongue on accident? Do you smile accidentally, or do kind things for people without a thought or a decision? Do we accidentally forgive someone?

Look through the list again and notice how these characteristics of love are all things that are “on purpose.”

So, a person can’t “fall in love” or be loving, accidentally. If we truly want to love, we must realize that love is on purpose - it’s a choice.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son...” that wasn’t an accident!

“As God so loved us, we also ought to love one another...” that won’t be an accident either!

Love is on purpose.

Embarrassing Love - A Sermon

2010-04-02T16:46:00.004-05:00

Love is wonderful, exciting, needed, and all that... but I also find it embarrassing.

Here are three ways that I have found love to be embarrassing:

Love can be embarrassing when someone loves you -- We were both in first grade. Toby came in the middle of the school year. Raised by his Grandma, rough family situation. I felt sorry for him and “mothered” him until... he kept singing this song to me from the Tender Bits dog food commercial, “Love me tender; love me true...” Then one day at recess, as Toby ran past me singing his usual song, he kissed me on the cheek. I was SO embarrassed! Other kids teased, “Toni and Toby sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G” Now I wasn’t sure I even wanted to be associated with him. After all, he was a little different... I couldn’t make him stop singing that song. And kissing?! I didn’t want THAT to happen again! So I ignored him for the rest of the school year and called “teacher!” whenever he came near me. When people love you, it can be embarrassing!
Love can also be embarrassing when you love someone -- One of my Bible work partners seemed to be “the one.” He was home-schooled like me, raised in the country like me, loves nature like me, has a lot of the same hobbies as me, wants to spend the rest of his life in ministry like me... the only problem was I didn’t know for sure if he “liked me” like me. After working together for two years, I was called to work in another place. I missed him so much! And I couldn’t take the mental torture of wondering what he thought of me any longer. So in an e-mail I blurted out exactly how I felt about him and practically asked him to marry me! He was shocked (I guess I was as quiet about my feelings in those two years together as I thought he was being). He wrote a very kind but very firm e-mail back saying “I love you like my own sister, Toni; but that’s all.” I felt disappointed, rejected, and heartbroken of course. But most of all I was embarrassed. What must he be thinking of me now?! When I saw him a year later at a youth convention I could barely bring myself to look him in the eye! I had made myself SO vulnerable by telling him all my inmost thoughts and feelings. When you love people, it can be embarrassing!
Love can also be embarrassing when you see one person loving another -- The most embarrassing kind of love I have ever seen is found in the Bible. Turn to Exodus 32:31,32

Ex. 32:30 And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moses said unto the people, Ye have sinned a great sin: and now I will go up unto the LORD; peradventure I shall make an atonement for your sin.

Ex. 32:31 And Moses returned unto the LORD, and said, Oh, this people have sinned a great sin, and have made them gods of gold.

Ex. 32:32 Yet now, if thou wilt forgive their sin--; and if not, blot me, I pray thee, out of thy book which thou hast written.

Moses had such a love for the rebellious, wicked, ungrateful, complaining, idolatrous, worthless, murderous people of Israel, that Moses told God he would rather lose his eternal salvation than have these people destroyed. Honestly now, do you love anyone that much? Eternal life with God? Do you love the people in your hometown area that much? “Well,” you say, “God didn’t accept Moses’ offer. No one can give up their eternal salvation to buy salvation for others. Only Jesus can do that!” True, and that is basically what God told Moses. But the fact is that Moses did love the people that much! He was just a human like you and I. Yet he, the Moses who spoke with God face to face and knew what he would be missing out on if he had his name blotted out of the book, the Moses who well knew the wickedness of the people - yet, he loved them so much! And that is embarrassing to me because I don’t love my neighbors, or anyone, that much.

Why don’t we love people more? The first two examples show a lot of the reasons:

Toby:

we are afraid to be associated with those who are a little different in any way

we cannot control what others do and fear that we’ll be hurt or taken advantage of

we care more about what some people think, than we do about the other people

we don’t want to lose anything - our reputation, status, career, comfort, personal time

Bible-work partner:

we are afraid of rejection - don’t want to be disappointed, heart-broken, hurt

we don’t want to become vulnerable, don’t want to let people into our private life

How can we get past our embarrassment and learn to love people like Moses did?

1) Studying Moses’ life we see that first of all he had made a decision to be a shepherd rather than a sheep-eater. (and this has nothing to do with being vegetarian by the way : )

Hebrews 11:24-26

Heb. 11:24 By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter;

Heb. 11:25 Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season;

Heb. 11:26 Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompense of the reward.

Moses could have been next in line to be pharaoh. He could have used those Israelite people to build his pyramid someday! He could have had the wealth and prestige that would come from these Hebrew slaves. But instead, he chose to identify himself with his brothers and sisters and sought to care for them rather than use them.

Ezekiel 34:1-10 God has strong words for those who live their lives benefitting from the people of their community rather than taking care of them:

Ezek. 34:1 And the word of the LORD came unto me, saying,

Ezek. 34:2 Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD unto the shepherds; Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves! should not the shepherds feed the flocks?

Ezek. 34:3 Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool, ye kill them that are fed: but ye feed not the flock.

Ezek. 34:4 The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them.

Ezek. 34:5 And they were scattered, because there is no shepherd: and they became meat to all the beasts of the field, when they were scattered.

Ezek. 34:6 My sheep wandered through all the mountains, and upon every high hill: yea, my flock was scattered upon all the face of the earth, and none did search or seek after them.

Ezek. 34:7 Therefore, ye shepherds, hear the word of the LORD;

Ezek. 34:8 As I live, saith the Lord GOD, surely because my flock became a prey, and my flock became meat to every beast of the field, because there was no shepherd, neither did my shepherds search for my flock, but the shepherds fed themselves, and fed not my flock;

Ezek. 34:9 Therefore, O ye shepherds, hear the word of the LORD;

Ezek. 34:10 Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I am against the shepherds; and I will require my flock at their hand, and cause them to cease from feeding the flock; neither shall the shepherds feed themselves any more; for I will deliver my flock from their mouth, that they may not be meat for them.

The first time I read this it made me so angry at those unfaithful shepherds of Israel back then. It’s disgusting to picture a shepherd kicking back under his sheepskin coat eating mutton and not caring that some of the sheep are wandering off or getting picked off by wolves... only paying attention to them when he gets hungry, and then ruthlessly grabbing some sweet little lamb for his supper. Would you keep such a shepherd? God said He won’t either!

Then I realized the implications of this parable. We are the shepherds of God’s people. What did Jesus ask Peter to do? “Feed my sheep.” And who were those people that Peter was asked to feed/shepherd? His family? His fellow believing disciples - “church members”? The unbelieving Jews of his nation? yes all those, and more! He was also supposed to feed the Gentiles (remember Cornelius? and the vision of the sheet with all the animals?). Peter was asked to shepherd everyone he came in contact with.

This parable of the sheep-eaters applies to me too. I use the people in my community. I use them as bank tellers, tax preparers, grocery store clerks, firemen, waitresses and cooks, linemen for the power poles, hospital staff, gas station attendants, postal carriers, hired hands for the farm, lumberyard help, school teachers for my kids, grain bin operators, propane fuel deliverers, senior center operators, county road-maintenance crews, hairdressers, librarians, cable TV repairmen... we depend on a lot of people! We use them for comfort, and security, and help, and to get our wealth... but do I care for them? Especially for their eternal salvation? Am I shepherding them? Do I love them like Moses loved the people?

#1 Moses made up his mind to care for the people as a shepherd, rather than use them.

2) What else did Moses do that can teach us how to love people like he did? He saw the people’s needs, went out to see their situation

Exodus 2:11 And it came to pass in those days, when Moses was grown, that he went out unto his brethren, and looked on their burdens: and he spied an Egyptian smiting an Hebrew, one of his brethren.

His love for these people grew when he saw their condition. When he got close enough to them to see what their life was like, he had compassion for them. He got to know their burdens, their life situation, their pain...

This is a huge help in learning to love people! When I visit people in their homes and get to know their background, and the struggles they deal with, the heartaches they have been through, the situations they are in... every time, I walk away with a desire in my heart to care for them. I find out that the meanest people have pain in their life just like mine. The richest people have heart needs just like me. The independent, have-it-all-together type people deal with heavy burdens just like me. We are the same. They need the same love and care that I need. I get cared for by God. But do they know that kind of love? How will they ever believe it truly exists unless I show it to them?

#2 Moses went to the people to see their needs.

3) The very next verse in Exodus 2 brings out another point.

Exodus 2:12 And he looked this way and that way, and when he saw that there was no man, he slew the Egyptian, and hid him in the sand.

Moses could relate to their need of God’s love and forgiveness!

How could Moses love such a mob of ignorant, messing-up, disobedient people? He knew how easy it is to mess up! He could plead for God to forgive the people with confidence, because he knew first-hand how forgiving God is!

Oh, how I need to learn this lesson! If only I would remember just how much God has forgiven me, it would be so much easier to love others! I would know just how to care for them if I would think about how God cares for me.

When I remember my own desires for attention and the ways I have tried to make myself look beautiful, I can look at the cashier with all the rings in her nose and have a love in my heart for her.

When I remember the times that I have been angry at God and not understanding His ways, I can love the man who is swearing a blue streak and scoffing the idea of God.

When I think of the times I have sat in a comfy chair reading a book when I should have been helping my family with the yard work, I can love the lazy person who is slopping through their work and not taking care of their family like they should be.

When I remember the pleasures I have had doing wrong things, I can love the people who blow me off because they are perfectly happy in their wicked ways. I know from experience that one day their ways will lead to misery and they will need love as much as I do. So I can love them even now when they are so rebellious.

#3 It’s so much easier to love people when we remember our shortcomings and how God has forgiven us and cared for us!

4) The final point is found a few chapters later in Exodus 33 (where we started)

Ex. 33:12 And Moses said unto the LORD, See, thou sayest unto me, Bring up this people: and thou hast not let me know whom thou wilt send with me. Yet thou hast said, I know thee by name, and thou hast also found grace in my sight.

Ex. 33:13 Now therefore, I pray thee, if I have found grace in thy sight, shew me now thy way, that I may know thee, that I may find grace in thy sight: and consider that this nation is thy people.

Ex. 33:14 And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest.

Ex. 33:15 And he said unto him, If thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence.

Ex. 33:16 For wherein shall it be known here that I and thy people have found grace in thy sight? is it not in that thou goest with us? so shall we be separated, I and thy people, from all the people that are upon the face of the earth.

Sometimes the burden of caring for people gets so great... we love people until we are dry, used up, empty... we feel like we just can’t love people anymore! Moses realized that the only way he could continue to love and care for these people is if God Himself was with him.

This point I can speak to from lots of experience! It’s seems like I have spent more time running on empty than I have spent loving people! If you 1) make a decision to be a shepherd rather than a sheep-eater you have just made yourself an on-call, 24/7, love giver. If you 2) go out to see the people’s needs and get involved in their lives in order to help them, the pain and heartache that you encounter can crush you. Even 3) remembering your own sins and needs in order to relate to other people’s lives brings up the fact that you need love yourself! And there aren’t too many love givers out there who care enough about you to check and see if you need a turn at “feeding.”

But there is a God in Heaven who has promised to be WITH US. He never runs out of love, for He is the source of all love! He will always care for us - 24/7 and for eternity. He is the great Burden Bearer that we can dump all the pain and heartache on. He took the whole crushing load at once, and it did kill Him. But it could not keep Him down! He rose again! He is well aware of the fact that we need love ourselves. He is always “there for us”! It’s the only way we can “be there” for others. We need Him with us.

Are you also sometimes embarrassed by love? When you see the love that Moses had for the people does it embarrass you? Just what is the condition of the sheep in our communities? From what I have seen, they being picked off by wolves who have come with lies and false doctrine. They are discouraged and wondering if God exists and why the world is in such a mess. They are ignorant of the great controversy going on and the final deception that is about to come to the earth. They are indifferent and hard hearted and “in need of nothing.” Do you think they are any more hopeless than we are? If anyone seemed hopeless it was the people of Israel! But Moses loved them enough to offer his eternal salvation to give them another chance!

We can learn to love people like Moses did! We can make a decision to be a shepherd, go out to see people’s needs and get involved in their lives, remember our own need for God’s love and forgiveness, and ask God to be with us.

The song below (click on the play arrow) has a mournful sounding tune, but the words are very fitting. Are you convicted that you need to learn to love people more?

Settling In

2010-03-10T21:04:00.009-06:00

I’m finally getting settled into my new homes and work here in Sioux City and Spencer, Iowa. The first three weeks have been a blur of new faces and places, along with the more familiar - feelings of loneliness and nerve-wracking decision making. But setting my schedule and visiting most of the church members has helped a lot. The people are welcoming here, and I have some friends already.

There are plenty of challenges. I really don’t see how it is even possible to work and live in two places at once. Even pastors who have five churches only live in one place! But God has promised to “work all things together for good.” So, all will be well in the end.

Here are a few pictures to give you a glimpse of my life here in Iowa:

In order to move, after Christmas break at home, we had to sled my belongings down the driveway (because we were snowed in again... or is that still?). Mom and Dad helped me take 11 sled-loads and armloads down the 1/4 mile driveway.

This is the house I stay at while in Sioux City, Iowa. Mrs. Whitcomb is 93 and the house was built for her grandmother! She is mothering me on Monday, Tuesday, and every other weekend while I am in town. Here she is waving goodbye from the door as I left the other morning...

I’ve never been in charge of so many keys in my life! Can you tell which one belongs to Mrs. Whitcomb’s front door? : } (No kidding!)

This is my upstairs bedroom and the bathroom there at Mrs. Whitcomb’s.

In the other town, Spencer, one of the church members has recently remodeled a little house five blocks from Lake Okabogi. He is letting me stay here until the place sells, or until his son gets an internship in the area.

So this is my Wednesday, Thursday and every other weekend house.

It is so nice to have my own space and be able to “set up house”! The furniture was put here by the realtors for showing. Bruce, the home-owner, brought these two fancy bar stools “so you’ll have a place to sit while you eat!” And the rest came in my Little Red Chariot.

How ironic that the shower curtains here are the EXACT shades of green and blue that I used to denote Spencer and Sioux City events on my computer’s calendar! I can’t look at them without thinking of my schedule for the week...

The snow was deeper when I first got here. The air conditioner that you partially see here, outside the patio door, was only a bump in the snow when I first came.

Paddington, my 25 year old teddy bear, is content anywhere. But I did have to remove the air mattress from my room and just sleep on the realtors’ mattress on the floor, because the air mattress was too cold! (doesn’t warm up with body heat like a real mattress)

My purpose here is to help the churches begin an evangelism cycle as well as reach out to their communities. Neither church understood what the Empowered Church program was about, so there will be a lot of educating and side-by-side working. I’m preaching 3-4 times a week too. So any “spare time” has been spent writing sermons. But I hope to somehow keep up the blog, so we can all stay in touch.

I know the spacing on this thing is all discombobulated. But I need to get home and go to bed.

Please keep me in your prayers. (I especially need humility, patience, kindness, unselfish love, and dependence on God’s wisdom and leading)

Love and Sonshine, Toni

Home for the Holidays

2010-01-21T13:43:00.019-06:00

I’m so thankful that for the first time in seven years I was able to spend Thanksgiving with my parents. I also got to spend Christmas and most of January. As you can see, my parents weren’t the only ones glad to see me get some rest at home.

Mom’s pretty fall flower arrangement and Iowa indian corn added to the mood...

And her hours in the kitchen added to my waistline : )

Just moments after I took this picture, Bogie (the Great Dane/Lab dog) stood next to the table, and while our backs were turned, licked out half of the pumpkin pie with three swipes of his big tongue! Mom laughed so hard that she couldn’t properly punish him. And she stayed up until almost midnight making another pumpkin pie...

Most of this yummy relish tray was Mom’s home canning! It was so good that there were only two pickles left by the end of Thanksgiving dinner with Grandpa Minikus, my Uncle Kevin & Aunt Margo, Margo’s parents, Mom & Dad and I.

Christmas morning I woke up to sparkling frost patterns on my bedroom window! (the new background on the blog is also frost on the window - I did colorize it, of course)

A storm had covered everything in 1/2 inch of ice and created thousands of 3 inch icicles, then dumped 6-8 inches of snow.

Unfortunately, it was so cold outside that I could only take pictures for about 45 minutes before my gloved fingers couldn’t bend to push the buttons anymore.

Mom brought the barn cats into the basement for fear that they would get snowed in there without any thawed water. It’s a good thing she did because it snowed for the next two days - a real Iowa blizzard!

Haven’t the “kittens” grown?! I tried to repeat the picture I had before by holding all three monsters in my arms. But even with a bowl of wet cat food I couldn’t get them to co-operate...

It was fun being snowed in. Christmas presents, though nice, were not half as nice as getting to spend so much time together. (Speaking of presents though, I got a really neat one. Dad, a coin collector, bought me, from Littleton Coin Company, a real Roman coin from circa 100 B.C. - the type the widow would have given in Jesus’ day, a tiny bronze “mite.” It is crazy to hold something in your hand that is so old!)

OK, maybe we got a little bit of cabin fever after three days... But Roxy, Mom’s dog, still wanted to cuddle!

Dad made a new knob for my crockpot out of a piece of firewood! It was such a nuisance when the old handle broke; I am so glad for a new one. You can see the piece of firewood he used and how he put my name on it under the finish. (he even put a little R with a circle around it so it looks like the cookware trademark is Toni : ) How’s that for a designer kitchen appliance?!

And the snow continued on... Mom used to have to reach up over her head to fill these bird feeders! The drifts were over waist high in many places of the yard.

Matt and Josie needed to leave Dec. 28th, and our quarter mile driveway was too deep for the neighbor’s tractor. So we called another neighbor from eight miles down the road. He took one look from his big tractor and went back home! Three hours later he came driving up our road in his CAT with a box grader on the back! Unfortunately he got stuck on the second pass and Dad convinced him that it was good enough. After a lot of shoveling by hand, we were able to send Matt and Josie tobogganing down the hill in their station wagon. They made it!

January 4-6th we had another blizzard and very cold temperatures (like air temperatures down to -30F!). After the storm, the snow crystals still being blown around in the air created this beautiful snowbow! By tomorrow (Jan 15th) we are supposed to get up to 34F, so our winter wonderland is going to start to melt away. I’m sure Mom and Dad will be glad to not have to park at the neighbors and walk up and down the driveway to get to and from work!

Finally got to go to my sister's place spend some time with her family. The boys have grown so much!

The warmer temperatures caused the snow to evaporate and make dense fog in the air that formed thick needles of frost at night!

And so the winter wonderland continues!

A New Mission and Dreams Fulfilled

2010-01-15T13:31:00.000-06:00

I have to write to tell you all of my new job. No doubt it will be the most difficult position yet, but it is such an answer to prayer I can't help but be excited.

As I was finishing up in Topeka, Kansas I learned that my job with Empowered Church program through Amazing Facts was going have to end because of legalities of stipend workers and government regulations (they were going to have to pay me a regular wage rather than a stipend and they couldn't afford it).

Pastor Jean Ross took my resume and presented it to the church in Sacramento CA where Doug Bachelor preaches from. They e-mailed me a few times and asked me to come out for a three month probationary position! This would have become a permanent position with great opportunities. It was a Bible worker's dream job for sure - the hoard of people wanting Bible studies would even come to the church and I wouldn't have to drive anywhere! I hadn't heard anything from the other resumes I had sent out and decided that this must be the way God was leading. I was to start in Sacramento on Feb 1st.

Then on Jan 5th I got a surprise call from the Iowa/Missouri conference of Seventh-day Adventists asking me if I would consider a position as the Bible worker and church coach for two churches who are simultaneously doing the Empowered church program (which is what I have been doing for the year and a half). I will have to live in Sioux City for half a week and Spencer for half a week (a 2 hour drive apart), and one of the churches doesn't have a Pastor or any leadership at all... It's not exactly a dream job, but I have to explain something....

When I first became a Christian I was watching a video report at church that showed a map of the USA with little shining dots appearing where missionary work was going on. They were reading a quote about how the message of who God really is will go to every part of the world. And I watched to see a light appear in Iowa... the scene ended with not a single dot in Iowa and just one or two in the whole Midwest! It sparked a dream in my heart to be a light here in Iowa so that all my neighbors and family would also get to know God. And as the years have gone by I have tried to get a Bible work job here, tried to share with my family and neighbors, tried to stay here to shine for Jesus. But I kept getting sent everywhere but Iowa!

Now my dream is coming true! I know it will be really difficult - the needs here are so great that even a whole team of Bible workers would struggle to make a difference. But God has led me for the last 7 years... to Ukraine, to ARISE, to my first two years of Bible work in Michigan, to Radiant Living, to working in three places with the Amazing Facts Empowered Church program... I have learned so much in these places. Most of all I have learned that God is the one who loves people, and I am the one who gets to witness it! And I am SO thankful that He is calling me to shine my little light here in Iowa. There is a dot on the map now! Even if I only get to be a small part of starting this work, I will be eternally grateful. God fulfills the dreams He plants in our hearts!

What to Do When the Flu Bugs You

2010-01-15T13:03:00.008-06:00

Drink Lots of Water!

It is amazing how much water you lose while perspiring from a fever! I drank a gallon a day (literally) and was still getting dehydrated. All of your body’s defense mechanisms use water to remove the dead viruses and bacteria from your body. All that mucous is made from water... so you need a lot of plain water to keep up with the extra demands.

Sleep, sleep, sleep...

With that H1N1 flu, you won’t feel like hopping around anyway! I could barely stay awake during the fever days. Your body heals most when you are in sleep mode; when other body functions are at rest the immune system is allowed to use your full energy to fight off the virus.

Eat those “bitters”

Goldenseal, garlic, grapefruit seed extract, elderberry extract, and the like, are natural antiviral substances. Antibiotics only kill bacteria, and “the flu” is a viral infection; so the only medicines that can do much to fight viruses are natural options such as these.

“Feed a cold; starve a fever.”

I think that saying is backwards. If you have an extended fever like with H1N1 it is probably a good idea to eat something everyday to keep up your strength. Applesauce was my favorite - takes little energy to prepare and swallow. Eat something or you’ll end up like a stick!

Fresh Air and Sunshine

Climb out of bed and try to get some fresh air and sunshine. Thankfully we had a nice warm (with the help of a blanket) sunny day when I was starting to recover. I fell asleep in the patio chair and felt so much better when I woke up! The body needs lots of oxygen for all of it’s processes, and sunshine is a known healing agent.

Pray, man-’tis mortal

Whenever I get sick like this, every ugly thing I have ever seen, ever repetitive song, every fear, every nasty thought - all comes into my mind and cycles over and over in a horrible fever dream. Sickness is a breeding ground for depression and self pity. Only our Creator and Great Physician can heal these infirmities. And “He hears the prayers of the faint... and him that has no helper”!

Inch back into Life

Even though you begin to feel better, remember to be temperate. Don’t overdo it. Slowly get used to eating regular meals. You’ll have to exercise to get your strength back for sure! But don’t try to do it all in one day. Relapses are not worth it!

When the Temperature Gets Turned Up

2009-11-06T21:01:00.001-06:00

I’m lonely tonight. The people I stay with are out of town for the weekend, so the house is empty except for the two dogs and I.

I’m sick tonight. Started feeling strange last night around 6pm. Was so weak and dizzy that I felt nauseated. Slept for 12 hours straight, and woke up feeling weak, as if I’d been fasting for a couple days, but definitely felt better than the night before. By 6pm tonight I could barely put one foot in front of the other to take the dogs for their walk. A sore throat started coming on. I can tell I have a fever now.

I’m hopeful tonight. I am supposed to preach for the Spanish congregation tomorrow. And a lady I met here in the community invited me to her housewarming party in the afternoon. Sunday we have a craft night at the church planned. I’m supposed to pick up two of my friends from the community, and another one is coming by special bus in her wheelchair. I am supposed to be bringing all the snacks. Certainly God knows all this and will work something out if I’m too sick to do these things for Him. I’m hoping that the flu will hold off long enough for me to make it through the weekend.

I’m exhausted tonight. The last month or so has been extremely busy. My job here in Topeka ends Dec 20th. There are always so many loose ends to tie up. Have been trying to find people to take over the Bible studies I am having with people. I take someone and introduce them to my “student” and they inform me later that they will not be able to study with the student after all... And so I take someone else, and start the process all over again. When I’m not preparing for or giving a Bible study, I am doing some kind of footwork for an event the church will be holding. And then there are cover-letters to write for resumes to send to try to find a job for next year. And the company who changed my car’s struts did something wrong and this will be the second time I have to take it back for “fixing.” And the phone rings on and on...

I’m thankful tonight. In spite of the economy and the insensitivity of this generation, I am working in Topeka, Kansas by the generosity of donations from people who believe that there is value in helping the community and sharing the Word of God with others. I could be in any number of situations at this stage in my life. But God has so arranged that I am able to travel around and tell my story of how He has rescued me and how He is changing me from a proud, self-centered, introverted brat into someone who is being drawn out of herself, hurt by the needs of others, and humbled by my inability to help. I’ve learned so much in the last seven years I have been traveling. My 1996 “Little Red Chariot” is still running soundly at 190,000 miles (and I put 100,000 of them on myself in the last 5 years)! My former boss sent my resume to a prestigious church which is considering hiring me. Though I don’t have a degree, they think the last seven years of experience have qualified me for such a position. And I shouldn’t complain about all the phone calls I deal with; I used to be so shy that I was afraid to make phone calls, or even answer the phone!

I’m too blessed to be depressed or stressed. And too sick and tired to realize it.

Thankfully, God understands!

Knowing is the Difference

2009-11-02T08:17:00.001-06:00

“You don’t know me like that!” I first heard that expression in Detroit, MI. The girl sounded irate and was basically telling the guy that he couldn’t treat her with such familiarity unless he planned to give her more exclusive attention. Her blatant challenge was also her heart’s desire. Who doesn’t want to be known, understood, heard, respected... loved?

It seems as though the Samaritan woman was just as forward with her challenge. And despite her brash demeanor, we discover that her heart’s desire was also to be known and loved. (John 4:1-43)

“Give me a drink”... I would like something from you.

“You don’t know me like that! Can’t you tell I’m a Samaritan woman?!”

The Samaritans had been Jews at one time. But invading forces had captured Samaria and intermarried with their people, “polluting” their bloodlines, and introducing pagan religions. These unfortunate people were now ignored and despised by the Jews. History records a resulting hate on both sides.

“You don’t know me!” was her response. And his comeback was intriguing: “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”

Jesus countered her, “You don’t know me! If you knew me, you would know that I have something to give you - a gift from God. You would be asking me for something.”

“Just who do you think you are?!” she retorts. She’s never met a Jew like this before! Of all the arrogant Jews she’s seen, this one takes the cake! He talks as if he is better than all Jews put together. He claims to bring a gift from God! Living water? Ha! He doesn’t even have a container to draw water out of the well for himself!

Jesus goes on to explain what he meant by living water. This “water” is a satisfying, a quenching, of the thirst of our hearts to be known, loved, and rescued from our situation. This satisfying water (relationship) would become a bubbling spring unto eternal life.

“If you’ve got such a thing, give it to me! I’d love to not have to come here to get water every day. I’d love to never get thirsty anymore.” She admitted that the offer sounded pretty good. But her words smell of doubt and sarcasm. She didn’t believe that this man could actually take care of her thirst. And she didn’t take up his challenge to get to know him.

But Jesus persisted with His offer... “Go call your husband, and come here.” The woman said, “I have no husband.” And Jesus said “You are right in saying you have no husband; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.”

This “arrogant” Jew, who she had never met in her life, told her the sad history of her life, a history that revealed her desire to be known and loved. He does know her after all! How does He know?! Who is this man? NOW she wants to know Him!

She regards him as a prophet (messenger for God) and asks Him a testing question of the day. The Jews say you have to participate in the worship at the temple in Jerusalem. The Samaritans set up their own counterpart and proclaimed that it is just as good to worship in the Samaritan temple...

Jesus, knowing that in a few short years these temples would be destroyed and useless said, “Believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know, we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews [The Messiah was prophesied to come from the family line of the Jews]. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is a spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”

It wasn’t about where a person worshipped, but if they knew who they were worshipping! God is not a place, not a mountain or a building. He is a spirit: a person, a being, a relational Being at that. He is seeking people to worship Him “in spirit and truth” - from their heart, in truth, in honesty, in open relationship, open communication, knowing Him. Jesus pointed out that not location but knowing is the difference!

The woman responded with the only thing she could say she really knew: “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When He comes, he will tell us all things.” She was counting on this Messiah to come someday and make everything right, tell all things, answer her questions... and this man was answering so wisely...

Jesus must have been so happy to let her know, “Yes! You are talking to Him! It’s me!”

The disciples came back from town with food and interrupted this conversation. The woman, still shocked and excited, left her water pitcher behind and ran to town to tell the people. And what was the evidence she proclaimed to them? Why did she think this man could be the Messiah? “Come see a man who told me all that I ever did...” He knows me! He knows me! He knows me, and yet He talked to me... The fact that He knew her made all the difference in the world to this woman. It caused her to want to know Him and to invite other people to know Him.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

How can we know that God knows us, unless we spend some time getting to know Him?

Flying Higher Under Constraint

2009-10-19T09:03:00.002-05:00

My earliest memory comes from when I was about two years old. Grandpa Minikus bought a kite and took Dad and Mom and I half a block down the road to the empty lot next to the huge Council Bluffs grain elevators. The kite was a brightly colored plastic. The day was also bright, but chilly; and the wind made me squint as it blew in my face.

Grandpa must have really talked up this kite flying experience, because to this day I can remember the suspense! It was a serious business and things had to be done just right. Mom and Dad stood off to one side, and I was to run next to Grandpa. He put the wing braces in and laid the kite out on the ground, pretty side down. The instructions were repeated again. I was to run my little legs very fast next to Grandpa’s long-legged, polio-stricken walk. “Ready?... Set?... Go!”

I remember running over the muddy, uneven ground for all I was worth, until... “Toni! Go get my shoe!” Grandpa was somewhere behind me and he sounded panicked. “Shoe?” I stopped running and turned around. There was Grandpa trying to balance on one leg and reel in kite string at the same time. And there was his shoe, a step behind and stuck in the mud! I remember tugging frantically at the shoe and making my way through the mud to hand it to him amidst the breathless laughter of my parents and Grandpa, who somehow managed to keep the kite afloat during this whole escapade!

Flying a kite still holds the same sense of adventure for me today as it did back then. When I was in Vancouver, Canada, a church member took us to English Bay to fly his two handed kite. Has anyone here ever had an opportunity to fly a two-handed kite?That was really fun, and scary too! Sometimes it felt as if it would lift me right off the beach! Somehow I feel like I am flying free, up there in the sky, when I am flying a kite.

Dad shared an illustration with me about a kite that helps explain the following two verses. See if you can figure out how these verses can be compared to a kite:

2Cor. 5:14 For the love of Christ constrains us;

John 15:10 If you keep my commandments, you shall abide in my love

These verses sound rather restrictive. We can only stay in His love if we keep His commandments? Where is the freedom in this?

It sounds even worse when you look at the definition for constrain (to keep in, compel). The love of Christ keeps us in? compels us? Sounds like force! Where’s the freedom?

Think of how a kite works. There is wind to pull it away. Gravity that tries to pull it down. And a string to keep it in (constrain it). In order for the kite to rise high in the air and soar around “freely,” it must be kept tightly in with a string. If the kite gets loose from the string it will fly around up there totally free for a brief while. Then what happens? Yep, it dips and dives and eventually crashes into the ground.

God’s commandments are like the string. They pull us toward the One who causes us to fly free. The commandments restrict us for sure. We can’t do this, wear that, eat this, say that, think this, act like that...

I know for myself, it is really easy to avoid restraint. I will make up all sorts of excuses and reasons why I don’t need to follow this or that...

Do you ever feel restricted by the commandments? Guess what. We should! If we don’t, maybe it’s because we aren’t letting them constrain us. Maybe we have cut loose. Maybe we are deciding for ourselves that this is OK, God doesn’t really care, that would be Pharisaical, only the fanatics stick that close to the commandments, after all God wants us to fly free...

But we will only stay afloat for a little while if we choose our own way and cut loose. We need these restrictions. The restrictions are what keep us flying in freedom. The tight connection is not to drag us down but to keep us up.

It’s true the commandments do restrict us -- they restricts us from crashing! In this windy world of sin and deadly grave-ity, the only way for our kite to fly free is to be constrained by the commandments of God.

Good News!

2009-10-19T08:23:00.002-05:00

The Doctor said she thinks Mom's lump is just a lipoma (fatty tumor)! They won't mess with it unless it keeps growing and becomes a bother. They only advised her to keep an eye on it.

What a relief!

Life feels all new to me now. I learned something through all this that changed my paradigm, and I think differently or something. Can't really explain it. Probably most of you have been through a similar situation that has changed your perspective on life...

I am thankful for the new perspective, and for the good news!

Indispensable

2009-10-12T21:45:00.002-05:00

It is not what one does that makes them indispensable; it is who they are.

My Mom is going to a clinic this Friday to have them look at a lump she has had for about a year now. It may be a fatty tumor and not a big deal at all. But the number of relatives in our family who have died of cancer, and the fact that two people I know lost loved ones suddenly (literally overnight), and the “what if” game that I always seem to play in my mind -- all have combined to cause me painful thoughts and a lot of crying.

Of course I know that God is always with me and with my Mom. I also know that He is in control and doesn’t allow anything to happen that is not for our ultimate good. But that doesn’t mean that Mom will be OK and live forever. In fact, the reality of this sinful world is that she will most certainly die. It’s just a matter of time.

My selfish thoughts ran like this one night: “What would I do if Mom died soon? Who would watch out for me, send me care packages, ask if I am eating enough, spend hours on end helping me balance my checkbook, answer “female issue” questions, straighten out my emotions and hormonal thinking, give me that motherly advice... What if I met someone who wanted to date me and Mom wasn’t around to talk to? [Of course my Dad is there for me! But everyone knows that a Dad can’t be a Mom in such situations - and visa versa.] What if I got married and she wasn’t there to see? What if I had kids someday and Mom wasn’t around to ask advice from? How bitterly painful it would be to have so many things to want to tell her...”

The thought came to mind that God would provide someone to take that place for me. I know many women who would gladly do their best to be a mom to me. But this thought didn’t help AT ALL. No doubt God would provide someone to do the things a mother would do for me. But no one can be Mom! It isn’t what Mom does that makes her indispensable to me; it is who she is.

In this age of materialism, life is all about producing -- work, work, work, accomplish, succeed, make it happen... It’s so easy to be sucked into the thinking that it is what people do that makes them worth something. We even see this thought in the opposite end of the spectrum. Those who have done something terrible in the past are considered to be more worthy of resentment. We value people according to what they do instead of who they are.

Considering the possible loss of my Mom has given me a new perspective on the value of each person. It’s not what you do that makes you indispensable; it is who you are.

The Little Controversy

2009-09-27T08:11:00.008-05:00

I Peter 5:8,9

I Corinthians 10:12,13

Hebrews 12:3,4

I Timothy 6:12

Psalm 108:12,13

James 4:7

Where I Stay While in Topeka

2009-09-14T22:09:00.010-05:00

The Barelli mansion - doesn't look like much from this side. But it's nice!

The lake and fountain right outside the back door.

A visitor at the lake. I was so happy to see one of my favorite birds here in Kansas!

"My" bedroom is so pretty, quiet, and comfortable. I'm so grateful to have a peaceful place.

Dr. Tony Barelli, playing with his "boys" on his "farm" outside of Topeka.

Simon, he's all about retrieving! (Lucky, pictured in my bedroom, is all about eating. Lucky is getting up there in age.)

Simon, getting his shower so he can ride back to his city home.

Dr. Arla Barelli playing with Dehlia's cat while visiting our friends, the Llizos.

Mom riding with Dr. B in his "tank" at the farm - it's better than any amusement park ride!

Mom & Dad came to visit us in August. This is at the Barelli's 350 acre farm in the Flint Hills.

The Romance of Holiness

2009-08-27T21:46:00.001-05:00

There stands a couple, face to face, in the fading light of sunset. Neither one is speaking. They only stare into each other’s eyes. A soft breeze plays with the hair that has escaped from her loosely made ponytail, blowing it across her face. The man slowly reaches up and tucks it gently behind her ear... A typical, romantic scene from any black and white movie.

What is so romantic about somebody fixing your hair? “But it isn’t the hair fixing that made it romantic!” you argue. “It is the setting, the face to face...”

Just ask any girl who has had a guy tuck loose hairs behind their ear; it feels romantic! It doesn’t matter if the setting is a busy workday; and the interaction is two seconds long; and the man is your boss; and his only motive is to try to make you more presentable for your next appointment. It still makes a person feel loved.

Perhaps, for the men, it is having someone fix your collar, or tuck the washing instructions tag back inside your shirt, or flatten the “cowlick” of hair that is standing straight up, unbeknownst to you. We all have a desire to be made right. We all appreciate someone who sees us as we cannot see ourselves, and who loves us enough to “fix” us.

I’ve been studying the word “holy” in the Bible. The word is so common that we feel comfortable using it; but I imagine that I am not the only one who couldn’t define it.

The Greek word for “holy” could also be translated “clean” or “right.” Revelation 22:11 fairly gives us the definition in one verse, “He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy, let him be holy still.” Holy and right are on one side of the equation, and their opposites are filthy and unjust (not right).

When I read “Be ye holy, for I am holy.” (Leviticus 20:7) I thought that God was saying, “You need to be holy because I want my people to be perfect ‘pin-up’ people for me to show off. You need to be right for me. You need to be clean - no mussed up hair, no smudges, no sins - don’t embarrass Me like that.”

I couldn’t see any love in that. All I could see was someone wanting to protect their name. Be ye holy, for I am holy; and I don’t want you running around with my name, making people think I am dirty like you!

But the following verses gave me a different perspective on the one in Leviticus. God’s desire for us to be holy is not for selfish reasons.

“Thou hast avouched the LORD this day to be thy God, and to walk in his ways, and to keep his statutes, and his commandments, and his judgments, and to hearken unto his voice: And the LORD hath avouched thee this day to be his peculiar people, as he hath promised thee, and that thou shouldest keep all his commandments; And to make thee high above all nations which he hath made, in praise, and in name, and in honor; and that thou mayest be an holy people unto the LORD thy God, as he hath spoken.” Deuteronomy 26:17-19

This is relationship language. They vowed to follow the Lord... and the Lord vowed to take them as His people, to make them honored, praised, and lifted up. God was going to make them a holy people (clean) so that they would be honored.

“According as he hath chosen us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love:” Ephesians 1:4

There is some romantic language for sure! He chose us. He had His eye on us for a long time, even before we were created! And He desired for us to be “before Him,” standing in front of Him, face to face - “in love.” Having your hair tucked behind your ears, or any other sort of “fixing,” fits right into this picture.

And notice in this last verse: God’s desire for our holiness is as UNselfish as it can be!

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” Ephesians 5:25-27

God “gave Himself for us” that we might be made holy. Jesus died that He might make His church holy. He died to make you and I holy. He died because He loved.

Isn’t it true that when we love someone we want to fix them? We wouldn’t let a loved one go around with spinach in their teeth, or with their skirt tucked into the back of their pantyhose, or with a sock stuck to the back of their shirt, or with a smudge of dirt on their forehead, or with a drug addiction, or with a gossip problem, or with a bragging pride, or with anything else that makes them ugly. We put value on our loved ones, and we want others to honor them as well. We don’t want to see them ashamed or judged or disrespected or hurting themselves.

God wants to make us holy because He loves us. If we could see ourselves as we really are, we also would want to be fixed! He loves us enough to want to save us from embarrassment, from the unknown-to-us dirt that Satan throws on us to shame us before the universe.

I think I have been pushing away His hand, not letting Him tuck those loose hairs away, because I wasn’t sure what He was up to. God, please forgive me. I should have known that Your motive for “fixing” me was love! You’ve always been so good to me...

On Forgiveness

2009-08-21T19:49:00.003-05:00

The small group of people in my training class at the Topeka, Kansas church are learning how to write a five verse Bible study. Last week I gave them the topic of "Forgiveness," and asked them to choose five verses on the subject and put them in an order that would be most helpful. They did such a good job I decided to share it with you all! (I "fleshed out" the study, as follows, for an example to the class on how to finish writing their study.) May you all be blessed!

No doubt, we have all seen a small child brought before a white wall that has hieroglyphic looking scribbles on it, and heard them insist, “I didn’t do it!” The look of guilt on their face is even more obvious than the crayon sticking out of their pocket!

Before such children can be forgiven, they have to admit that they did something wrong. How can you say “It’s okay, honey.” when there is no “it” to be okay or not? We have to admit that we have done something wrong before we can receive forgiveness.

Look at what the Bible promises to those who admit their sins:

Prov. 28:13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

We don’t have to cover up our sins or try to find some reason for why we have done certain things. Those who “lay it all out on the table” are promised mercy. Mercy: compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is in one’s power to punish or harm.

David put it this way in Psalm 130...

Psa. 130:3 If thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?

Psa. 130:4 But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared.

David recognized that if God held our sins against us, there is not ONE person who would make it. “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23 And David gave that as one of the reasons we stand in reverent awe of God (fear Him) - He doesn’t treat us as we deserve; He will forgive!

And the news gets better yet in I John 1:9. Here we see that God doesn’t just listen to our confessions and say “Ah, don’t worry about it; I’m not going to hold it against you.” God’s forgiveness is deeper than just turning a blind eye and pretending it never happened. What else does His forgiveness include?

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Yes! Cleansing! When God forgives, He will also clean us from that sin. He is faithful, or trustworthy, to clean us from all un-right-ness. That’s what we really want isn’t it? We don’t want our sins to merely be ignored. We want to be rid of those things that cause us so much guilt and pain. We want to be innocent again. We want to be lovable, not ignored. God’s forgiveness doesn’t overlook our issues; it fixes them!

But how can this be? These sins I have cannot just “go away”? They have already been done. Their consequences are in motion. I’m trapped in them. I deserve every bit of what I get. I did this knowingly, on purpose!

Look at Ephesians 1:3 and 7...

Eph. 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:

Eph. 1:7 In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;

This is the very reason Jesus came to die for us. Because we have “blown it” and are trapped in the consequences of our sin, Jesus came to redeem us. Redeem means to exchange or buy back. Adam and Eve, and every human being since them, has listened to the Serpent, Satan, and found themselves hopelessly trapped in the consequences of their sins. This is exactly what salvation is all about! Jesus came to “save His people from their sins” Matthew 1:21

And notice that last word in verse 7. Grace is “undeserved favor.” Jesus didn’t come to save people who “deserve it.” In fact He didn’t even come to save people who only sinned by accident! He came to save people who sinned on purpose and knowingly rebelled against Him. Our salvation comes because of His grace - His love for those who don’t deserve it. Forgiveness is available to everyone because of His grace.

Have you ever heard of Mary Magdalene? She was a prostitute who lived at the same time Jesus was on earth. She had listened to Jesus’ teachings and admitted that she needed forgiveness. She had confessed her sins to Him and been forgiven. No one else understood the experience she had with forgiveness, but she understood it! She was so thankful that she wanted to honor Jesus as her Savior. In the verses we are going to read in Luke 7:44-50 we see her attempt to show her thankfulness for being made clean, forgiven, freed from her sins...

Luke 7:44 And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head.

Luke 7:45 Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet.

Luke 7:46 My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment.

Luke 7:47 Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.

Luke 7:48 And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven.

Luke 7:49 And they that sat at meat with him began to say within themselves, Who is this that forgiveth sins also?

Luke 7:50 And he said to the woman, Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace.

Notice the crowd’s question: “Who is this that forgiveth sins also?” If they had believed that Jesus was their Savour, they wouldn’t have asked such a silly question. But it is a good question. When it really comes down to it, there is no one else in all of creation who has the power to erase our actions, change our hearts, and take away forever the condemnation and guilt that our sins cause. Only the God who creates something out of nothing, can make nothing out of something!

For the sake of the condemning crowd around them, Jesus once again told Mary that she was forgiven. Her faith, or trust, in Jesus’ power to forgive is what had freed her from her sins. She could go on now, in PEACE.

Would you like to experience that peace? The Bible tells us that we can confess our sins to God and He is faithful to forgive us and cleanse us from all un-right-ness. Forgiveness is available to you and I right now! Let us go to Jesus in prayer and ask Him to forgive us.

Mourning into Joy

2009-08-03T10:40:00.006-05:00

When I was in Marshall, Texas earlier this year, I befriended some cats in the neighborhood. You can read the beginning of this story in the archives under May 17th “Missy and Mister.”

Shortly after I wrote that, Missy let me touch her! Then a week or so before I was to leave, she rubbed up against my leg and let me pet her several times. We were best friends now. Mom and Dad knew my attachment and suggested I bring her home to Iowa to be a barn cat...

I was certain by now that she was a stray. She lived in the junk behind the sign painting business next door. But she wasn’t getting fed there. Seemingly overnight she became really thin and pitiful looking. And she begged for food every time I went outside. I think she ate her weight in Vegannaise and beans every day! Mister hadn’t shown up for about a week, so Missy ate her portion and his too.

The Saturday afternoon before I was to leave, I was visiting with a lady outside of my trailer when she stopped talking and said “Isn’t that your cat you’ve been feeding? It looks like she got hit by a car or something.” I turned around to see Missy come hobbling down the driveway. Her feet were curling up spasmodically making her stumble and fall over, and her eyes were rolling back in her head. She had been poisoned (probably with antifreeze)...

I tried to throw a towel over her, to catch her, with hopes of taking her to the vet; or at least try to pour some activated charcoal down her throat to maybe absorb the poison. But she was still a wild cat and out of her mind because of the poison. She managed to get away from me every time and finally escaped into the 8 inch culvert that went under the driveway.

The next morning I expected to find her dead in there, and dreaded having to pull her out. But she wasn’t there! My hopes of recovery were dashed, though, when I spotted her near the edge of the woods. She was much worse now... it was awful! I will spare you the details. How could anyone poison a cat that way, knowing the agony they go through? I cried all morning as I prepared to go to work, but crying couldn’t get rid of the feelings I had. I loved that cat. And I couldn’t do anything to help her in her pain.

When I got home that evening, Missy had moved again. I guessed she had drug herself into the woods. And the next morning my suspicions were confirmed by five vultures who were sitting on the roof of the shed and in the trees, stubbornly refusing to leave even though I walked right up to them and shouted at them to get out of there. Now I know why the Bible speaks of the birds in Revelation 19:17,18,21. It is a fitting symbol for finality, a sure sign of death, the end of any possibility of recovery.

Wednesday night we had a thunderstorm that knocked some limbs out of the trees. I had to drag one out of the road so I could leave that morning. As I drug it toward the cyclone fence holding in the neighbor’s junk, I heard a scrambling noise. My heart mourned as I realized it couldn’t be Missy, but leaped for joy when I saw three pairs of eyes peek out of their hiding places in the junk. Kittens! Of course! Missy was suddenly thin, she ate like a horse, as she was dying she was dragging herself back toward the junk pile.. because she had kittens!

That afternoon I took a lady with me to talk to the sign painting people who owned that junk behind the fence. When I asked if he knew anything about the cats that were hanging around there he shamelessly said “Yeah, we’ve been trying to get rid of those cats!” He must have seen the shock and anger in my face because he tried to cover for himself... I interrupted to ask if he knew that there were three kittens in his stuff back there. He said “Yeah, we were waiting until they were weaned before we got rid of the mother. They are about 7 weeks old now. Two orange ones and a black one. You can have them if you can catch them. Ha, ha, ha!” That was all I wanted to know, so I left.

Mom and Dad were more than willing to have three barn cats - especially Missy’s kittens... And my friends there, Melanie and Robert, just happened to have cat traps. The poor things had been orphans for five days now. The tuna in the traps was more than enough to lure them in. Their first messes in the cat litter were only grass, bark, and june bugs! It was Sabbath now and the tuna that Robert gave me for the traps was gone in the first 5 minutes; so the kittens had Vegannaise and spaghetti noodles for their Sabbath meals. : )

They were VERY wild kittens. And they were about to embark on a 13 hour drive to Iowa in a cat carrier given to me by other friends, Mr and Mrs McCommon. I ate breakfast that last Sabbath morning while reading goodbye cards. Mrs. Vivian Clark’s card had a verse in it about “Faith, Hope and Charity.” I looked over at three pair of big eyes staring at me from the cat traps and laughed. Perfect names! That was the first time I had laughed since Missy was poisoned. It made me think of the verse “I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow.” Jeremiah 31:13

Frank Faith, Harold Hope, and Charles Charity (wouldn’t you know it they are all boys!) are growing big like their daddy, Mister. And they are tame now; they all come up to Mom and Dad for “lovin” whenever they see them outside. They love their new home in Iowa where they have free run of a barn full of mice. Mom and Dad said they have learned to climb the trees now, and they romp around like little kids out there. I can’t wait to get home and play with them again. I thank God for the three blessings that have comforted me and brought so much joy after such a sad situation. Someday all our mourning will be turned to joy. (Revelation 21:1-5)

Catching Up

2009-07-31T22:20:00.006-05:00

Abstract art has never appealed much to me. I have always wondered why people who have such talent would want to make something that looks as if they had none. My suspicions are that they don't have all that much talent in the first place, so they create some rules that they are able to follow and then call it "superb abstract art." : )

Because I think this way, I am calling the following pictures my abstract photography. I couldn't get any good, realistic pictures. This was the best I could do - and they fit into the "abstract" category. Convenient!

I threw in a few of my "just for fun" shots too. Like the "I've-been-sitting-in-the-backseat-way-too-long face." And the "Green onions destined for a salad."

While home on break, my brother Matt and my friend Jacqueline both gave me crash courses in Photoshop. I'm posting these pictures now, before I get into all this photo editing stuff, to save me the headache of "fixing" them. : )

I've also added several written posts to the archives, to put them in chronological order. I won't do that anymore. This is the last time you'll have to search backwards through them to find something new! I'm learning!

Some Pictures from My Break at Home in Iowa

2009-07-31T20:22:00.017-05:00

The "beginnings" in Iowa are always so beautiful!

The Omaha Henry Doorly Zoo is always fun!

Hiking in Iowa (and eating mulberries - big ones this year!)

Uncle Kevin and I mowed grass for 5 hours one day with the push mowers.

Even the dirty dishes in Iowa are beautiful!

And the "endings" in Iowa are always beautiful...

The Precarius Prayer

2009-07-07T22:25:00.002-05:00

I’ve been digesting a book about prayer. I’m sure you all guessed that by some of the topics on my blog posts. : ) It’s a book my friend recommended (he also happens to be the author) called “If With All Your Heart” by Richard O’Ffill.

The point I read recently has caused me to think a lot. The word prayer is derived from the Latin word precarius: obtained by entreaty. And we still use the word precarious today when things are uncertain, unstable, insecure, dependent on circumstances beyond ones control, dependent on the will or pleasure of another, or liable to be withdrawn or lost at the will of another.

When is prayer precarious? When you are asking for something, prayer is precarious! Because when you ask God for something you are allowing Him to choose His response. The control has been turned over to Him. You are subjecting yourself to His decision.

When Jesus specifically asked God in Gethsemane, “If it be possible, please take this cup from me.” He also added, “Nevertheless, not my will but Thine be done.” He didn’t try to take the control; He was dependent on the Father’s will/choice.

The opposite of such prayer/asking is demanding. When you tell someone to do something for you, you offer them no option, no free choices. You take the position of authority and leave them subject to your demands.

I’ve been thinking about my prayer requests. How many of them are actually prayers? How often have I “asked” God to help me do this or that, and spelled it all out to the Nth degree, to the point where it was no longer a request but a demand?

Asking is tough stuff! It is so difficult for me to turn over the control of even simple things to someone else. I don’t ask people for things very often. Probably my parents are the ones I ask the most. I trust them the most; I know they won’t hurt me when I turn over the control to them. I accept them as having authority over me. But even with my parents, I think I usually ask for things I know they will readily agree to do my way.

How do I treat God? I don’t ask Him for very much either! I mean, I ask Him for things I know He readily agrees with and will do my way. But when it gets to things that are really precarious - things that could go either way, things that I WANT to go my way, things that I am tenaciously trying to have control over... then I start off praying and end up demanding!

Getting very personal, I have been thinking about one of my most repeated prayers lately - “Heavenly Father, am I ever going to get married?” I realize now that I have been quite demanding. I can only think of ONE time, when I actually asked God for a husband without my pork attached to the bill. All the other times I have had particular people in mind, or outlined my way and timing, and turned my request into a drive-thru order for God to fill!

Of course it is not wrong to talk to God about specifics, or even ask for things in detail. But when my asking becomes demanding, my relationship with God is changed. If I know Him, love Him, and accept Him as having authority in my life (my Creator), will I demand Him to do this or that? Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to ask God for His choice of husband for me? Do I have cause to fear that it will be someone I do not like?

Handing over the control to God is a precarious thing - it’s putting our life in His hands. It is really asking for something, rather than putting in an order. It is about a relationship with God that allows Him the freedom to do His good will in our lives. It is a way to show God that we know Him as trustworthy and love to be at His mercy, in His care, in His arms...

There is a story in the Bible that illustrates this type of asking. Imagine you are Ruth as you read about her precarious request in the book of Ruth (especially 3:1-9). How scary would that have been?! Things certainly could have gone either way! How demanding was her request? How much greater was the response than she expected? How is Jesus like Boaz the “redeemer kinsmen”?